Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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Having seen "Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life" - which is entirely too long a title - all I can say is please end the suffering. I hope the head honchos at the studio realize this movie is bad, nay, dreadful, nay again, appalling ... actually, there isn't a word strong enough to describe it.

I went expecting to see the exact same film as the first Lara Croft flick, but I never expected to be privy to the torture that was Jan de Bont's ("Speed" and "Twister") "Tomb Raider." To tell the truth, I cannot remember anything remotely interesting in this film. At least in the first movie they had a cool fight scene here and there. This one didn't even have good music.

Enough about how bad the film is, let's talk about how bad the acting is. Angelina Jolie is an Academy Award-winning actress but in the film seems to do nothing more than pose for the camera; Ciar&eaacute;n Hinds ("Sum of all Fears") gives what is possibly the worst villainous performance in recent memory. Djimon Hounsou ("Gladiator" and "Amistad") seems to be extremely bored throughout his 15 minutes on screen, and who could blame him? Sadly, the best performance of the film is Gerard Butler's ("Reign of Fire"), which is due in large part to his Scottish accent.

It seems as though they attempted to create an entire film on a few cool action scenes. Whether it's Jolie punching a shark and then riding it back to the surface, or the evil spirits that should have just been called Ent's with an attitude, the film is completely ridiculous.

Now, I happen to love some films with completely ridiculous plots, I can accept completely ridiculous, but only because in those films they never take themselves too seriously. "Tomb Raider," however, takes itself seriously, and not in the way so you can laugh at its stupidity, but so you will probably jump for joy if the projector breaks. The film is cliché at every turn and a waste of time and money.

Frankly the first movie was bad, but compared to its sequel, that film was an astounding piece of art. Granted I am only 16 years old so I'm not that well versed in, well, anything, but I know a bad movie when I see one. I can only hope that my warning will help deter some would-be-audience members from paying to see this awful thing. .



This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.






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