The House of 1,000 Corpses This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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     In the opening scene, we see four college students traveling through the middle of nowhere. The two boys are writing a piece about offbeat roadside tourist traps and their ill-tempered girlfriends have been dragged along for the ride. Their journey is long and soon they run out of gas. They're forced to stop at a pit called Captain Spaulding's Museum of Monsters and Madmen, which is also a gas station and fried chicken hut. To sensibly minded persons like Mary and Denise, the fissure in the woods would be identified as a little bit of hell overflowing to the surface, but to Jerry and Bill, the joint is paradise.

The owner and operator, played by Sid Haig, is my favorite character. I can't help but describe him as more of a side-show carnie than a respectable gas-station operator. He dons sloppily applied clown make-up, has disgusting teeth, and wears a sweat-stained shirt topped off with a hairless scalp and a full beard, no doubt riddled with dirt and bits of fried chicken. He gives them a tour of his

collection of mass-murder memorabilia and tells them about a local legend, Dr. Satan. The corrupted "Doctor" was supposedly hung for performing horrifying experimentations on his patients at the local insane asylum. Spaulding is quick to mention that Dr. Satan's supposedly abandoned house is nearby, knowing, of course, that Jerry and Bill will ask for directions.

If you're in search of an awe-inspiring revelation concerning the meaning of life or an intellectually challenging film, this isn't for you. Its purpose is simply to catapult you into a world of blood-drenched overalls, intestine-covered scalpels, and improperly sterilized equipment while entertaining you along the way.

Some cheesy comedy, one or two decently acted parts, and a mildly entertaining gross-out factor saves Rob Zombie's creation (this is his writing/directing debut) from being buried alive. The comedic aspect is lost after the group reaches the house. Imagination is there, but narration is not; the dialogue is sub-par, even for the genre.

As far as creating terror, shock and suspense, there are occasional scenes that fulfill the legacy of Zombie's predecessors, but you also have to appreciate his love for the genre, which he makes obvious through his references. You could compare it to "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre," "Freaks" or "Evil Dead," I suppose. Although there is no real point to the movie, it serves its purpose to disgust you for an hour, but if that isn't your bag, then you won't enjoy a minute of it.

This movie is rated R.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.






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