“Alexander” is about Alexander the Great, who ruled most of the known world by the time he was 25. The story stretches out over a very long three hours, by which time many in the theatre were beginning to fall asleep. The many, many glorious battle scenes turn into gasps of “another one.”
The hyped superstar cast looks like a bunch of fools as audiences yawn at their performance. Angelina Jolie’s accent is just a bit off, while Val Kilmer’s scarred face is quite unpleasant.
Another movie comes to mind when this supposed-blockbuster filled TV screens with flashy commercials. It looked like “Troy,” which featured a bulky Brad Pitt a couple of months before. Instead it turned out to be a weird-looking Colin Farrell, in many different unconvincing blond wigs.
This movie is rated R.
This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.