May 3, 2013
Oh god! Where do I begin with this movie?
For the many people who don't know, Carnosaur is a 1993 Dinosaur movie based on a book by Harry Adam Knight that was supposed to compete with the mega blockbuster Jurassic Park. And when I mean it was supposed to compete with Jurassic Park, I mean that it came out 2 weeks before that masterpiece of filmaking and shocked dinosaur fans with just how terrible it was. If you haven't guessed by now, I really hate this movie. I consider it to be the worst movie ever made, beating out such contenders as Troll 2 and Plan 9 from Outer Space. Lets just get this over with.
Carnosaur is about a mad scientist that wants to destroy the earth by genetically recreating the dinosaurs. How? Who Knows. They don't explain it ever. One of these dinosaurs gets loose and starts to kill off the people of a nearby town; so its up to our hero, an alcoholic security gaurd named Doc, to figure out whats wrong. Just so you know, with the exception of the genetic recreation of dinosaurs, this plot has nothing to do with the book.
Seeing how this was competing with the amazing special effects of Jurassic Park, how do Carnosaur's effects look? Answer: GOD AWFUL!! Where Jurassic Park used incredible CGI and animatronics, Carnosaur uses hand puppets and plastic figures. When me and my friend were tearing this movie apart a few weeks ago, we were always asking ourselves which member of the crew let their five year old come to work and play with his tonkas and dinosaur toys in front of the camera.
As for the acting, it's attrocious! Im surprised anybody in this film kept their careers, with the exception of Doc's love interest whos career began and ended with this movie. Whenever anybody talks I just want to punch somebody in the face because of how unrealistic the crappy dialogue is.
In short, from beginning to end (and don't get me started on the ending, which makes the entire 2nd act pointless), this movie is one of the worst things hollywood has ever produced. Never see this movie or it's sequels (yes, there were 2 sequels and a spinoff) because you will end up with an endless amount of shame for watching them.

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