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Resident Evil: Retribution This work is considered exceptional by our editorial staff.

There is a reason I never watch Resident Evil movies. Most of the time I can’t get around the fact that all these movies sport that same inane dialog, huge stupid set piece moments, zombie dogs, and horrid acting. The newest installment is no different, but here is the kicker, I have yet to see Resident Evil III or IV, or for that matter, Resident Evil II. I saw most of the first one and thought it was a horrible mess of a movie, and treats the license like a drunk driver treats his car (the movies are based the game of the same name), and saw only parts of the second one, which was even worse, which I still can’t believe. When I heard a third one was coming out, I said I was never going to view that film, and to this day, I still haven’t, which is fine by me, considering that this newest film, called Retribution (another sequel title from the ever full sequel bucket), gives a complete back story to what has happened so far, I had no need to see any other of the sequels to get the gist of the already convoluted plot. This film again stars Mila Jovovich as Alice, who used to work for the Umbrella corporation, who had created the virus that has given everyone a splitting headache, and yah, turned them in zombies, I know, and she continues her battle against the corporation in hopes of destroying the place once and for all. The entire film takes place in the Umbrella Testing Facility, where the main computer that is controlling everything, known as the Red Queen, continues to experiment and study the virus, and is hoping to create enough of the monsters to battle the forces looking to take down Umbrella. Like the previous films (the last two I’m assuming from the reviews and trailers I viewed), this film has your typical huge set piece moments, but this one feels defiantly bigger than the last ones, and thankfully, doesn’t rip entire scenes out of the Matrix. But here is the problem; there is just too much going on. The movie feels like it’s been on a caffeine binge for the last week. It just can’t settle down. Just when you think there is going to be a peaceful moment, low and behold, another action scene takes off. This film also seems to be in love with the colors red and white. Seriously, everywhere you look, there is nothing but large white rooms, with red panels showing off a rather unrealistic level of sheen. The film also boasts some of the worst acting and writing a big budget film I have seen in a while. All of the actors deliver their lines without much emotion, and never once did I feel invested with them, I mean for god’s sake, five movies in, you would think some decent acting could be found, but no, sadly not. You either have people who over perform or under perform, and Alice goes back and forth. While she is written as a character who we are supposed to root for, I really didn’t care if she died or not, and knowing that there is going to be a 6th film coming out in the next two years, yah, I wasn’t to worried. There is also this whole sub plot about cloning, and the whole opening of the film (aside from the huge ship battle that lasts for 30 seconds), takes place in a suburban environment showing off Alice as a house wife, getting ready to take her kid to school, when zombies strike, and kill everyone around her, which turns out to be a simulation that Alice discovers as she tries to escape this facility. As soon find out, Umbrella has been cloning people, including Alice to have her be tested in the simulations. We also find out that Umbrella has been planting memories (only certain ones) into the clones so that she would seem more like her old self than her new fight zombies one. Ok, how does Umbrella have memories of Alice? When did the retrieve them from her? How did they do such a thing? Maybe this was explained in the previous films, but considering I have never seen them, I really don’t care either way. In order to have Alice escape, four military guys are sent in to rescue her, including Resident Evil 4’s (the game version) protagonist Leon Kennedy. He really doesn’t do much, but I’m sure he will in the next film, but as for this one, he just shoots his gun, and barks orders. The only thing I really did enjoy about the film were the action scenes, at least the ones that didn’t have over done slo-mo. The best one in the movie was the scene where Alice, and three of the military guys, are being chased by a huge monster of some sort, and are escaping in a 250,000 dollar Rolls Royce. That scene was cool, but again, it is short lived, and the movie just moves onto the next huge action scene. The movie really does feel like a big video game, which is ironic, considering it is based on the game of the same name, but that’s not what you are supposed to do, you are supposed to make the movie feel like a movie, not a video game, I have the video game for that. All in all, this is just another installment in a over done series that adds nothing new, goes really no where, and only exists to set up the final battle that we will see in part 6. But it really doesn’t matter what I say, if you are a fan of this series, then you will love every moment, and if you’re not, then its just another lame installment that doesn’t even try and be different. Saved only slightly by its somewhat impressive action scenes, but its not enough for me. Now I know most of you will be interested in my Dredd review, but sad to say, I have to wait a couple weeks because my stupid theater won’t carry it for the next two weeks. Why? I don’t know, but hopefully End of Watch or House at the end of the Street will be better off than this film. See you next week.



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Jeresur This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 3, 2012 at 6:46 pm:
Great review of a bad movie! But I gotta say (and this is just my preference) that I think it would be better to seperate it into paragraphs instead of one really big one. Other than that it was great!
 
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