I regret the day I ever listened to Anthony (a kid who I would sit by in the lunchroom almost every day in fourth grade) tell me to watch the movie Orphan.

“You will love this movie if you like horror!” he said. Overtime I forgot about it until just a few hours ago while channel flipping I came across it.

Like I said, I regret ever listening to Anthony and remembering him tell me to watch this movie. Orphan has to be the biggest waste of time I have EVER spent on a movie. One hundred and twenty three minutes is not worth losing over this movie.

In this movie there are pretty much five main people. There’s the mother, the father, the son, the little deaf daughter, and (obviously) the orphan who is adopted. The mother’s name is Kate and her part is played by Vera Farmiga. This actress was pretty well rounded and did a good job with her role. She played the usual part of the “First person to realize what the hell is going on”. Then there’s the dad, John who is played by the actor Peter Sarsgaard. Now this is where it gets annoying. He must’ve been the turning point for this movie, the turning point down the road wrongness! Peter did a full out terrible job at the role he was about to play. He was supposed to be a caring understanding yet gullible guy, but all I saw was staleness.

Now for the kid’s acting critiques! Daniel is the son, a smart young boy who is eventually brought down. This kid (or not exactly a kid) has to be one of the best teen actors I have ever seen! Jimmy Bennet played the role like he was supposed to; he did a great job at the believability in the love of his “real” sister in the movie, Max. Max was played by another small genius whose name is Aryanna Engieer. She was very believable and good for her age. I think she would improve with more practice in movies and acting chances, overall great job though.

Lastly there’s Ester. Ester is the psychotic killer maniac who has a hormonal disorder that makes her look as if she were a child when she’s really thirty three. This was why I didn’t like the movie. Isabelle Fuhrman didn’t do a bad job with the role. She actually wasn’t bad at all.
I didn’t like this movie because of the aspect of it! It was about a girl who was actually thirty three in a little women’s body seducing the man who adopted her!!!!!!!!!! Not to mention she kills people in the process of her madness!!!!! To me it was completely disgusting and off putting, it made me imagine attempting to kiss my dad, proving to me that my acid reflex did indeed work. So if you don’t like almost vomiting at those types of thoughts, then don’t watch this movie. Honestly, the only good critiques I can give this movie are to say great job picking out the actors and actresses to fulfill your deranged parts (accept the dad of course because he wasn’t that perfect) and that the movie made me feel something, even if it was puke crawling up the back of my throat. I wouldn’t recommend watching this movie over something else. Hell, I would say strawberry shortcake episodes are more put together then this, and that is coming from a horror movie fanatic!

Just promise me that whether you will or won’t watch this movie after reading this that you won’t go adopting a child you don’t know anything about?! Because that’s plain stupid to do, and you shouldn’t need a movie to prove that!