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Battleship This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

To say that anyone was excited to see “Battleship” is pretty much like saying that you are excited for an earthquake – it's just one of those movies people had a bad feeling about. Everyone I talked to before its release said it seemed to be just another Transformers movie, and to a degree, they were right. I went in expecting a Michael Bay film, and boy, oh, boy, was I right, but here's where the confusion set in: this film was not directed by him; it was directed by Peter Berg, who brought us “The Kingdom” and “Hancock,” films that are much better than Bay's. So why would a high-class ­director like Berg try to rip off Michael Bay? What results is a film that, while definitely exciting and fun, seems misguided, like two filmmakers were behind the camera.


“Battleship” is still a fun ride. Best seen on the big screen, it's a summer popcorn flick in every way, but that doesn't make it great. The same can be said for the Transformers movies.


“Battleship” is shot very much like a Transformers film, with similar sound effects and action. However, Berg was trying way too hard to impress with big spectacles, and as a result sacrificed the story.


The plot: A down-on-his-luck everyman named Alex (Taylor Kitsch) is celebrating his birthday, when he tries to impress Sam, played by Brooklyn Decker. He gets thrown in jail after breaking into a gas station and stealing a burrito for her. I guess she was impressed, because we jump to a couple years later, when Alex is in the Navy and they are together. Alex is about to go off to the naval games. As they head out, they are greeted by aliens, and thus begin the explosions, chaos, and terrible acting.


The whole movie is the humans trying to figure out a way to destroy the aliens, whose ships are more powerful than the fleet. It's up to Alex to help his fleet and prove he is a true soldier.


There are two faces in this movie I want to talk about. One, Rihanna – why, why, why does she feel the need to act? I mean come on! I get it, she's pretty and a big figure in today's music scene, but why an action film? Why not a terrible romance? She did an okay job, but she seemed out of place, which made me not care in the least about her. Two, Liam Neeson. Now, he does a very good job for what screen time he is given, which isn't much. But doesn't he know any better? Liam, come on, man, you're a professional – do something in your league.



The aliens themselves are nothing to write home about, but at least I can say they are the first ones with goatees I've ever seen. Their goal is to invade Hawaii and send a signal to their brothers and bring them all to Earth. Oh, just friggen' awesome! NASA had to send out that signal years ago, not thinking of the consequences, and endanger the human race!

I'm not going to give away any more, in case for some reason you want to see it, but try and see it on a big screen, if you really must. All in all, it's definitely fun and a treat to watch, but boy, does it have major issues.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.





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alanclarke714This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 1, 2012 at 1:07 pm:
I thought Battleship was, not only, better than the entire Transformers trilogy, but had a much more intriguing story. Plus, the script did a MUCH better job going from serious to funny, for this one actually felt like both
 
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