Twilight: Sparkly boyfriends who want to eat their girlfriends

November 9, 2010
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Nothing really seems to happen in the movie, except until the end when the vampires engage in vampire-y warfare. A lot of the movie consists of Bella and Edward staring at each other for long periods of time. I don't know, when I date someone, I sure hope to be doing more than just staring at the guy the whole time. If someone asked me, "So what do you do with your boyfriend?" and all I could come up with is, "We stare at each other," I think that'd be worrisome.

Another thing that bothers me: Edward wants to EAT HER. Call me crazy but...if a guy looked at me as if I were a tasty muffin and informed me that I was like his "own personal brand of heroin," I'd run away prettttty fast...that's not saying much because my mile time is like 12 minutes. But still, I'd carry around pepperspray in my backpack for a couple days at least. And get a bodyguard or something. I really don't want to be a guy's muffin. Don't get me wrong, I ADORE muffins. Especially chocolate muffins. I just don't want to BE one.

Also, I remember 2 yeras ago I thought Edward Cullen is hot. I'm not embarassed about it and I still believe I have every right to admire good-looking guys even if others make fun of me for it, but I have changed my mind about Edward recently. The truth is, I don't want a sparkly boyfriend. In fact, i don't really want a boyfriend who looks perfect/pretty. It'll feel too much like I'm dating a poster instead of a real person. It's like Barbie's Ken enlarged to real life size, standing at my side. It's a bit frightening, not to mention that if I ever introduce the perfect-looking guy to my mom, I might accidentally say,"Meet ken...I mean (insert guy's real name)."

The biggest flaw of Twilight is this. With all of that intense, "Rawr I'm a vampire" action going on, the characters don't have time to sit down, simply enjoy each other's company, and help each other make the hard decisions in life.

Like, should I have blueberry or cranberry scones? If Edward were my boyfriend, he wouldn't be able to help me with that.

Because he'd be too busy trying not to eat me.

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This article has 3 comments. Post your own now!

SkyWolf said...
Nov. 22, 2010 at 6:49 pm
I love the Twilihgt books b/c u get into the characters heads about questions that are everyday. BVut the movies are exactly the way u describve them.
The_Phantom_ofthe_Opera This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 22, 2010 at 5:03 pm
I REALLY REALLY LIKE THIS!!! I agree!! Good job!! X
Isajo said...
Nov. 21, 2010 at 8:50 pm
this is really well written! haha  and i have to say, i agree 100% :)
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