New Moon

November 21, 2009
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The phenomen of Bella and Edward's sultry romance hit us once with the first installment in the series, the epic Twilight. Now teenage girls across the nation (and their hesitant boyfriends) must get their "Team Edward"/"Team Jacob" shirts out of the closet once again for New Moon.

Based on Stephenie Meyer's best selling series, this movie is a relatively true-to-the-book adaptation that has captured the love of not only teenage girls, the intended audience, but many of their mothers.

Now, now, full disclosure: I am an avid hater of the books. Absolutely no offense to Stephenie Meyer or those who enjoy them, but I really, truly cannot stand Bella's "you-are-my-sunshine-my-only-sunshine" thing. Bella needs a hobby. Other than waiting around for Edward to save her behind, of course. And Edward, please. We all get it. You are stony cold. Bella's blood is to you as heroin is to a drug addict. You are an advocate for abstinence, a rare find in teenage boys. But do we really need 500 pages devoted to these aforementioned facts? But now, back to the most recent movie...

After a close call at the Cullens' house, involving Bella's blood, a coven of thirsty ruddy-eyed vampires, and a very near miss, Edward (Robert Pattinson, also known as Cedric Diggory), who charmed us throughout the first movie, decides to leave Bella (Kristen Stewart), claiming it will be for "her own good" but leaving her oh-so-heartbroken. After months of depression (and if she's like the rest of us, a pint of cake batter ice cream) she finds reckless fun in the form of her most recent comrade, Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner) who almost fills the void of her missing boyfriend.

After Edward is led to believe Bella is dead (by none other than Mr. Black himself), he goes on a suicidal mission to the merciless Volturi, the ruling coven of vampires, knowing he cannot live in a world without his Bella. It is up to Bella and Alice to stop him before it is too late.

Oh, and did I mention Jacob is a werewolf? Bella seems to have an affinity for dangerous guys. But hey, at least Jake has sweet biceps, compared to puny Cullen.

Filled with angsty, depressing scenes of heartbroken Bella and far too many teenage boys with no shirts (though I applaude them for their sculpted six-packs), this movie really covered a lot of what goes on inside the teenage mind. Director Chris Weitz (The Golden Compass) captured that in its intirety.

The scenes were a medley of mossy Northwestern forests and cerise Italian parades, the two hour long ordeal was filled with unique pieces from Muse, Death Cab for Cutie, and Thom Yorke, and the rest of it was all a mess of near-kisses between an often shirtless Lautner and Ms. Stewart. While parts of the screenplay was cheesy and far too love-y dove-y for my taste and there were multiple points where I felt like screaming to Bella "Get a life! Stick up for yourself! Don't wait for Vampire Charming to come around, little Miss Antifeminist," it was all-in-all (dare I say) kinda sorta good! Never a dull moment; some near-death scares, some near-kiss sighs, and an excellent soundtrack. I deem thee a success!

Besides, what girl can resist Edward's loving overprotectiveness, Jacob's sweet (although dogged) loyalty, and the classic (albeit overused) Romeo/Juliet feel?

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This article has 2 comments. Post your own now!

E.L.W. said...
Dec. 16, 2009 at 4:03 pm
Thanks remym!!! I read both of yours and LOVED them! Great work. Glad to know there are a few people on this planet who DON'T want to marry either Taylor Lautner or Edward Cullen!
remym said...
Dec. 15, 2009 at 5:10 pm
Read my like-minded review, and The Case Against Twilight, in which I highlight all the reasons Edward is abusive, Bella is pathetic, and the writing is horrible. Good job!
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