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Before I commence with this review of new moon I would like to take a moment to say, I have not read any of the Twilight books nor do I have a Vendetta against them. I have however read a synopsis of the first movie so I know the main plot. That being said this is my review of “New Moon”

New Moon: There’s a childish joke to be made, but I’m not the man to make it. I wasn’t expecting much from this movie series, but this film really made me doubt my generation. I didn’t want to be like everyone other guy and hate this movie, but this film will not allow it! This film pinned me down and forced me to form a disdain for it. My strong antipathy for this film is based on a number of factors.
One of these components is the characters; these “characters” are either decidedly non-complex amalgamations of a singular personality trait or just plain unlikable! The main culprit of the latter is the main protagonist of the story, Bella Swan, the most unlikable female character ever! She is so unlikable I feel like I’m watching a circus act of un-likability! Come one come all, see Bella be whiney and completely dependent upon someone on the opposite gender! Watch her use her friends and fall into a deep depression over nothing! What a likable character! Maybe she would be more sympathetic if her name wasn’t such a cutesy pun!
The next problem with this film is the acting. Each line is delivered with such a melodramatic importance to it. Everything… is… so…serious…I lo…ve you Bella. Everyone is just so serious saying such cheesy lines! On second thought the writer is the one I should be angry at. I mean who could deliver lines like “You're my only reason to stay… alive. If that's what I am,” convincingly, honestly now! Sorry, I had trouble typing that line, because my keyboard was covered in sap!
The last thing I’ll rant about is just the basic concepts of this story! I can’t stand vampires that sparkle in light and have super strength and super speed and can see the future. It’s simply too much change to vampiric lore all at once. However if all these changes add up to a great story I can forgive it. Unfortunately for this film they don’t. The whole reason this story even happens is because Edward Cullen doesn’t want to make Bella a vampire, because “I don’t want her to become a monster”. The problem with this is that These Vampires shown in the story aren’t monsters! They simply drink blood, but the vampires she hangs around with drink animal blood! What is the difference between drinking some blood from an animal and cutting it and frying it? The pros of becoming a vampire outweigh the cons by a long shot, because the cons do not exist! So I could drink blood (of animals) in exchange for super powers and ETERNAL YOUTH I think I’ll go ahead and get bitten! This story could have actually meant something if these vampires had a downside!
Overall this movie had some fun ideas, such as the werewolves, but it is all DESTROYED in the execution. I really wanted to like this movie, but… alas… it… wasn’t … meant to…be.





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remym said...
Dec. 15, 2009 at 5:07 pm
Reviewers like you are restoring my lost faith in my age group. Read mine? My peice The Case Against Twilight and New Moon review were in my school paper, and I, as the only teenage girl who hates the series and thinks it is a horrible influence, have beein getting some....interesting feedback. To steal a nonsensical line from Twilight, you are my life now. Which makes no sense on its own, and less as a response to "I love you."
 
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