A Million Little Pieces | Teen Ink

A Million Little Pieces

September 30, 2008
By Anonymous

“I want to run or die or get f--ked up. I want to be blind and dumb and have no heart. I want to crawl into a hole and never come out. I want to wipe my existence straight off the map. (James Frey 6). 23 year old, James Frey portrays the life of an angry alcoholic and heavy drug abuser who ends up being put in rehab for unusual circumstances. He doesn't believe in himself and he is very stubborn. He just wants to be alone in his own darkened world. Even after getting oral surgery without receiving any pain medication, he still doesn't want to believe in the treatment. After being told that he will die if he continues using drugs and drinking, he sees this as a death sentence and he tries to give up completely. Only until an old man shows him truth within his eyes does he starts to consider change.

“The bugs crawl onto my skin and they start biting me and I try to kill them. I claw at my skin, tear at my hair, start biting myself. I don't have any teeth and I'm biting myself and there are shadows and bright lights and flashes and screams and bugs bugs bugs. I am lost. I am completely f--king lost.” (James Frey 11)

James is a pale shallow white skin man with brown hair and blue eyes like the arctic; with bruises and cuts all over his body. He has several stitches on his cheek, lips, and the inside of his mouth. His four front teeth missing as well as a broken nose and the only thing that seems to matter to him is what is real and raw.

James faces the hardest thing he has ever had to do which is to make change within. It's hard for him because he gave up on having a bright and happy future long ago. He must make a decision if he wants to live and work on the program and have a future or if he wants to die from drugs because he doesn't think he deserves to even live. He must go through such detoxification, get his four front teeth fix without pain medication, and go through therapy with his parents, and watch the love of his life be tossed out of the treatment center, and stay strong the entire time.

Even though this book is part fiction and part fantasy, it seems all too real. What this man had to go through and the way he handled every obstacle is astounding. I would strongly recommend this book to anyone, simply because it is raw and filled with what reality is really like. James Frey is an incredible writer and his work is unique with style and will draw anyone, even those who don't like drugs, into this book. It is strong with emotions that real people face. It shows truth in everyway, and people need to know it and read between the lines of it.



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