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The Twilight Series by Stephenie Meyer

The “Twilight” series, by Stephenie Meyer has swept the nation like swine flu, infecting our youth with its sexist, unreal view of the world, and sickening them till, in their delusional state of mind, they believe a stalker with fangs is the epitome of the perfect man.

“Twilight” chronicles the dull life of Bella Swan, a whiny main character who falls in love with a vampire who sparkles in the sun like the petroleum infused glittery gel that women spread on their bodies. The majority of the first book is spent waiting for a plot – don’t worry, it never comes. Move on to book two, where we watch Bella curl up in a ball, trying to fill a hole in her heart. This is where the real sexism comes into play. Bella is portrayed as someone who, when separated from her man, crawls into bed and cries for three or four months. Without a guy by her side, she is even weaker than she used to be with Edward, the vampire who thirsts for her blood. The third book has us still waiting for a plot, hoping that it might come along. Surprise! It doesn’t.

There’s some pull that makes us read the fourth book. It’s not the writing, for that in and of itself is horrendous and bland. Some compare Meyer to J.K. Rowling, author of the “Harry Potter” books. Stephen King speaks the opinions of the literate folks out there –apparently there are precious few—saying “The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can’t write worth a darn. She’s not very good.”

Of course, as soon as we rush to pick up “Breaking Dawn”, it’s clear we made a mistake in purchasing the obese thing that can barely be labeled a book. It’s more like a 400+ page fanfiction, written by someone with no idea what the term ‘characterization’ means. Bella is still the same whiny girl she once was, except now, she’s pregnant and annoying. It’s almost as bad as “The Secret Life of the American Teenager”! Bella also chugs down some serious blood to satiate her demon spawn. The birth scene is reminiscent of “Alien”, when the extra-terrestrial bursts from the stomach. At least in “Alien” they had the sense not to name the alien Renesmee. Like any sane adult, Bella chooses to name her demonic baby a mix of Renee, and Esme, her mother and mother in law. I wish my mother had named me a mixture of my grandmothers’ names. "Gusan" is a lovely name for any child, no?

The book ends with no bang, no bustle, and no happiness or tears. There’s only a blank feeling of relief that it’s finally over, though those of us who know what good writing is can appreciate the true lack of character development and conflict, and the extensive sexism that drives this series.

So, why is the series so incredibly popular? Girls everywhere want a vampire to sneak into their rooms and watch them sleep in a rocking chair, rocking back and forth, back and forth. It’s because of the skill Meyer has of taking stereotyped themes and making them open to a different demographic. Twilight is a vampire Young Adult series for people who don’t like vampire Young Adult series’. Meyer successfully hit the giant group of people who normally don’t read these books, and sucked in some who do, as well. Mothers seem to enjoy reading Twilight as well, perhaps because they enjoy reading what their children do.

The “Twilight” series, though sexist, juvenile, and still cliché, is still inexplicably popular. Girls –and boys- follow it in a cult-like obsession, worshipping the ground that people dressed as Edward walk on. It may continue like this for a long time – but hopefully, someone else with crappy writing will come along and start a new cult. Though some may disagree with Meyer’s writing style, and her ideas, it is still undeniable that she has thrown the entire world for a loop with her books, and that is something any author should be proud to have done.



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This article has 20 comments. Post your own!

xjust_listenx said...
Jan. 25, 2012 at 5:40 pm:
This was the greatest interpretation of "Twilight" that I have ever read! I used to be part of that cult, but after reading the first book a little more thoroughly, I saw it for what it was. I completely agree with this review!
 
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freeflow23 said...
Jun. 27, 2011 at 4:52 pm:
I loved reading this review. It was very well written, thourough, and entertaining as well. Your humor seemed so natural and I agree with you completely.
 
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NakimandEmustan said...
May 15, 2011 at 1:41 pm:
I loved reading this review, it was extremely well written and had great points. Even though I don't agree with your stance or some of your points, I love the way you presented them. You're a really amazing writer. :)
 
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vampirelover said...
Jan. 21, 2011 at 1:13 pm:
Great review! I remember when i was one of those creepy twilight fans, but now that i've read Harry Potter and other novels that aren't about stalker vampires, I began to understand that the books sucked. I still read vampire books though, but not ones like twilight, i read ones with strong female characters who know that they don't need a man to live. You did a great job on this, and i have to agree with you 100% on the topic of Twilight.
 
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forgottenpenname This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 27, 2010 at 1:05 am:
You had me from the first line. :D
 
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TheDreamWriter said...
Aug. 10, 2010 at 5:59 pm:

let me say this. i loved your writng in the article. but i agree adn disagree with you. (does that make sence)

its true that the books aren't well-written and they take a long time to get to the point. i've read the seris and i  some what liked it.Its true its sexist and say that bella  can only be happy if she has a man beside her..  The reason i actully liked the seris wasn't becasue i wanted my own edward  but because i like what the books introuduced . I like th... (more »)

 
Prosaic-Scriptor replied...
Aug. 27, 2010 at 6:26 pm :
I can respect that. Thank you for reading, and I'm glad that you at least enjoyed the writing, if not the editorialized style. :) It's only my personal opinion.
 
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twilight_teen14 said...
Jun. 4, 2010 at 7:49 am:
Twilight is amazing and to the writer if you don't like it that's your opinion but Twilight is really good.
 
Prosaic-Scriptor replied...
Aug. 27, 2010 at 6:27 pm :
I'm glad you like it. :)
 
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twilight_teen14 said...
Jun. 4, 2010 at 7:48 am:
I love this series! It is awesome! And you have to admit Twilight got our "I hate to read" generation to read!!!!
 
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magic-esi This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 1, 2010 at 7:27 pm:

I have three things to say before I say anything. One, congratulations on having completed all four books- I barely managed to struggle to page 250 of the first one, it was so horrendous. Two, thanks A LOT for practically stealing the thoughts out of my head- are you a psychic or something, because this is PRECISELY how I feel. Three, I am currently very envious of your writing ability because it is much too good to be possible.

Sorry if it sounds like I'm laying on way too much flatte... (more »)

 
Prosaic-Scriptor replied...
Aug. 27, 2010 at 6:28 pm :
Wow. That was such a nice comment - I can't believe someone would say something so nice! You really made my day when I first read this. ;)
 
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Ccl.Loves.U said...
Feb. 12, 2010 at 10:05 am:
I loved your article. I connected with it on every level. Twilight is the most pathetic thing that happened to this world. It's hard to go into a Barnes & Nobels now and find a book not based on vampires and werewolves. Such a pity, really. Girls clearly do not know the good kind of novels they're missing.
 
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readlikecrazy10 said...
Feb. 7, 2010 at 4:29 pm:
and by the way, Renesmee was a HYBRID, not an alien. oh, and for future preference, lighten up. Your language actually creeped me out.
 
katy_valentine replied...
Mar. 5, 2010 at 10:28 pm :
What's creepy? I thought the review was very well done, and written very intelligently. She makes some very good points, additionally, and seems well informed on the points she makes.
 
forgottenpenname This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 27, 2010 at 1:12 am :
She wasn't saying that Renesmee was an alien. She was just comparing it to the movie.
 
JesusandHisLawyersThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 25 at 10:57 pm :
"I'm bitter that somebody had valid criticisms of something that I liked and that they phrased it in a way that illistrated how literate they are! :(("
 
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readlikecrazy10 said...
Feb. 7, 2010 at 4:17 pm:
well writen, though i thoroughly disagree. The obbsession is because most girls would feel as if they are Bella Swan, missing Edward when he leaves, feeling protective over Renesmme when the Volturi come for her. The Cullen's home feels like your home . I loved the books, though i will admit that they were not well- writen. That's not Stephenie Meyer's strong point, her strong point is being vivid witha believible prespective of a girl whp has fallen in love with someone who is he... (more »)
 
Prosaic-Scriptor replied...
Aug. 27, 2010 at 6:30 pm :
Thanks so much for your tolerance of my opinions. It's so easy just to flame; and I appreciate learning why others love it. :) 
 
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Belganie said...
Feb. 5, 2010 at 10:46 am:
I LOVED IT! (You badmouthing, not the book) I hate how in the forth book she made so the vampires were all havine special powers. Loved your article!!!!
 
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