The Anti-Blackout

April 30, 2010
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Dewmocracy, a poll of new Mountain Dew flavors (decision of the people, by the people, and for the people). The flavor that we vote as the best stays permanently in the Mountain Dew collection. In the past, Dewmocracy introduced Voltage, Supernova, and Revolution as the first contenders to be judged by the whole country. In the end, Voltage came out victorious, ending the production of Revolution and Supernova but showing how effective Dewmocracy really is. Whiteout, Distortion, and Typhoon. These three names represent the new generation of flavors which are Mountain Dew in its entirety. Personally, I recommend Whiteout and its godly flavor more than either of the other flavors.

Whiteout is the best flavor of this generation because it is a never-ending bliss that quenches your thirst but leaves you wanting more. When you feel the ice cold can of the heavenly drink you know what true power feels like. If you can handle the power in your hand, and dare to hear the awesomeness of the pop! as the can is brought to life you will open it. At this point, you can smell citrus as if it is being squeezed directly into your nostrils in such a concentration your eyes well up with joy and pure citrus power. Once the smell is weaker you see the perfect and glowing white color, the color of angels and you can’t resist but to taste this soda. The shocking sensation will blow you away as if you have just opened Pandora’s Box of Goodness and it isn’t closed until the can is empty. It’s a blast of bright light and exotic taste as soon as the liquid hits your tongue; the company doesn’t call it Whiteout for nothing.

The other two flavors are Typhoon and Distortion and even though they are awesome as well, Whiteout blows them out of the water. Typhoon is a wave of fruit punch that affects your sense of taste just as good as Whiteout but doesn’t really please all six senses. By the way, the sixth sense is the “bright scale of the mind” which is created by the joining of Whiteout with your DNA and you can never get rid of it but only please it and enjoy it. The final flavor is Distortion which is a powerful blast of lime that is as sour as it is sweet. The taste and smell are distorting just as the name suggests, it leaves you left in another dimension. Even though it satisfies 2 of your senses it is only 1/3 the power and perfection of Mountain Dew Whiteout.

When I first saw the design on Whiteout it magnetized me to buy a whole 12-pack after it sent me spiraling head over heels into a daydream from above. Before the first splash mesmerized me and sent my body, not only into the want of Whiteout, but the need for it, I was taught the meaning of persuasion by this amazing dream. Its flawless design tingled my thought processing system from head to toe including all nerves and sending flashing shockwaves through my body. The look of this perfect can made me shiver like a whiteout was occurring in the coldest part of Antarctica in the winter and I was in the middle of it. I was floating through nothingness, as numb as can be yet I still felt the drenching sweat as I stared into that shining beverage, which showed the presence of all colors of light in its milky white shade that was somewhat transparent. Basking in the glory of this new sun and spark of life I felt, I realized that I was effected this much by no more than the creativeness of the art on the can and the beautiful display in the store. I knew that I had fallen to this advertising because I was amazed at the white pyramid constructed of nothing but this soda and I had to have it, and that isn’t even the half of it.

There is no way to describe the taste of Whiteout in any amount of words except by saying, “PERFECTION is an understatement.” to introduce you to the level of this, I am shocked every time I taste Whiteout, no matter how prepared I am for the taste, it shows me who is boss, but the first time was the best memory a human being could ever have. Hook, line, and sinker as the art dragged me in and soon I was in the humid and hot atmosphere of my home watching as the condensation on the can dripped and dropped, revealing a paradise inside the can that would take me to another world. After about 5 minutes, I finally got up the guts enough to open the can and as if cued by the thoughts in my mind, the soda showed its glistening nature to my eyes while, at the same time citrus was shot into my nose with the power of a hurricane. I couldn’t stand it anymore, and I ingested the first taste of Whiteout and drifted away from reality into my perfect world, which up until now didn’t exist at all. Now, as I separated from my body and crept closer to the light created by Whiteout I was suddenly shot back into my body as fast as I was removed by this liquid sensation and I truly tasted the drink of gods for the first time in my life.

Whiteout has many pros, and there are flaws in its flashy design, so here they are. Just for starters, there is no amount of this that can fully satisfy you, as I have mentioned, YOU ALWAYS WANT MORE! Even if you buy more of it you thirst for it like a drug. Secondly, you will never drink another soda again because of the intensity that Whiteout offers and no other soda does. That being said, when you are in possession of this unearthly soda you are satisfied. This soda causes the most extreme thought processing state that man has ever known. The battle between good and bad qualities of Whiteout is definitely one-sided because even the flaws can be good if dealt with properly, an example is always having a can of Whiteout at hand just in case your brightness has gone down.

Whiteout should stay in production because it has changed the face of Dew forever. There will be more variety in the whole company if Whiteout is added to the permanent line of refreshments created by Dew. Whiteout is currently winning Dewmocracy 2 with 50% of the states voting Whiteout, but it still needs more pro-Whiteout voters to support it on its trip to secure the lead in this competition. After tasting all these new Dews, Whiteout has rocked my world far more than the others have and I suggest trying all three before you decide, but when you do I hope you choose Whiteout to stay for good in this non-political poll of the Dews. It is up to you to make Whiteout a shutout and the future Voltage of this Dew generation, when this occurs, much thanks to you, who vote Whiteout for Dewmocratic President because all in all, it is THE BEST.(period)





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