Magazine, website & books written by teens since 1989

Undying Need

I have this undying need to sing out,
To tell the world something they need to know,
I may be loud and leap around and shout,
Because I know no other way to show:
My drive to fight for a place in your heart,
How much I need to see that lovely face,
Each exquisite feature a piece of art,
Each luminous eye, a glimpse of deep space,
Yet this beautiful creature I yearn for,
Belongs to someone who does not deserve,
The affection of the one I adore,
The ones whose trust I would always preserve,
Love is an act of blood in my system,
I am dying as its newest victim.



Join the Discussion


This article has 29 comments. Post your own!

DarkenRose said...
Jul. 22, 2011 at 11:22 am:
Truely a beautiful and amazing poem:) I like it
 
Delictious replied...
Jul. 22, 2011 at 6:31 pm :
Thankkk you so much!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
zone7494This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 19, 2011 at 8:52 pm:
this is a really awesome poem you should read some of my poems called remember me and addicted tell me what you think and rate it if you want
 
Delictious replied...
Jul. 20, 2011 at 9:29 pm :
Thankk you! :D
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
HannahT said...
Jul. 19, 2011 at 3:13 pm:
This is really a beautiful poem...I love it:D well done!
 
Delictious replied...
Jul. 20, 2011 at 9:29 pm :
Thank you so much!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
whitstar27 said...
Jul. 17, 2011 at 10:57 pm:
this poem is realluy powerful, especially the last line
 
Delictious replied...
Jul. 17, 2011 at 11:19 pm :

Thankk you soo much! :D

 

 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Laina13 said...
Jul. 15, 2011 at 9:56 pm:
I like this one too. Your flow between lines is beautiful. And your details, once again, are fine. Gorgeous, actually.
 
Delictious replied...
Jul. 15, 2011 at 9:59 pm :
Thank you so much! I pride myself on details <3
 
Laina13 replied...
Jul. 15, 2011 at 10:02 pm :
Don't we all??
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Garnet77 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 15, 2011 at 7:58 pm:
I love your poetry! How do you think of this stuff??? Like several people have said before me, your word choice is superb. And I love the rhymes. This is amazing. Keep writing! :)
 
Delictious replied...
Jul. 15, 2011 at 8:15 pm :
Thank you so much! I guess how I think of it is I have a VERY creative imagination and like things to take a weird turn(: Thanks for your nice comment!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
booklover04 said...
Jul. 15, 2011 at 7:34 pm:
i really really enjoyed this poem. As people have said, your last two lines, spoke to me the most. The only thing I found that you could improve on is the structure and flow of the poem. I also found that when you used the word "and" a lot in the third line it didn't flow as well. But that could just be me :) Overall great job!
 
Delictious replied...
Jul. 15, 2011 at 7:42 pm :
Thank you! I also love the last lines as well<3
Thank you for the feedback as well! I can see how the and in the third line can make it choppy, thanks!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
NinjaGirl This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 15, 2011 at 2:53 pm:
Very good! Loved your word choice and the emotion you put into this. Nice job finding rhymes :)
 
Delictious replied...
Jul. 15, 2011 at 6:06 pm :
Thankk you!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
alex198 said...
Jul. 14, 2011 at 1:38 pm:

I love it! Especially the last two lines. The whole poem is just filled with so much emotion. Well done :)

 

 
Delictious replied...
Jul. 14, 2011 at 3:09 pm :
Thank you!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
ritabelle511 said...
Jul. 13, 2011 at 11:28 pm:
Ok, I'm seriously loving your poetry.  You have such an amazing way with words - you're very talented. Fantastic poem!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Site Feedback