Undying Need

July 9, 2011
By Delictious GOLD, Lubbock, Texas
Delictious GOLD, Lubbock, Texas
16 articles 5 photos 151 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I would like to be remembered as a woman who did the best she could with the talent she had."


I have this undying need to sing out,
To tell the world something they need to know,
I may be loud and leap around and shout,
Because I know no other way to show:
My drive to fight for a place in your heart,
How much I need to see that lovely face,
Each exquisite feature a piece of art,
Each luminous eye, a glimpse of deep space,
Yet this beautiful creature I yearn for,
Belongs to someone who does not deserve,
The affection of the one I adore,
The ones whose trust I would always preserve,
Love is an act of blood in my system,
I am dying as its newest victim.



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This article has 29 comments.


on Jul. 22 2011 at 6:31 pm
Delictious GOLD, Lubbock, Texas
16 articles 5 photos 151 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I would like to be remembered as a woman who did the best she could with the talent she had."

Thankkk you so much!

on Jul. 22 2011 at 11:22 am
SweetPolarBearHugs PLATINUM, New York, New York
27 articles 0 photos 75 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All conflict in literature is, in its simplest form, a struggle between good and evil." - unknown author.
"All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream." - Edgar Allan Poe

Truely a beautiful and amazing poem:) I like it

on Jul. 20 2011 at 9:29 pm
Delictious GOLD, Lubbock, Texas
16 articles 5 photos 151 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I would like to be remembered as a woman who did the best she could with the talent she had."

Thank you so much!

on Jul. 20 2011 at 9:29 pm
Delictious GOLD, Lubbock, Texas
16 articles 5 photos 151 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I would like to be remembered as a woman who did the best she could with the talent she had."

Thankk you! :D

zone7294 GOLD said...
on Jul. 19 2011 at 8:52 pm
zone7294 GOLD, Newport News, Virginia
18 articles 0 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
If im good for nothing, then your bad for everything

this is a really awesome poem you should read some of my poems called remember me and addicted tell me what you think and rate it if you want

HannahT SILVER said...
on Jul. 19 2011 at 3:13 pm
HannahT SILVER, Medford, New Jersey
9 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
Writing is a struggle against silence. ~Carlos Fuentes

This is really a beautiful poem...I love it:D well done!

on Jul. 17 2011 at 11:19 pm
Delictious GOLD, Lubbock, Texas
16 articles 5 photos 151 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I would like to be remembered as a woman who did the best she could with the talent she had."

Thankk you soo much! :D

 


on Jul. 17 2011 at 10:57 pm
whitstar27 GOLD, Edison, New Jersey
15 articles 0 photos 38 comments

Favorite Quote:
when life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then step back and let the world wonder how you did it
and
when life gives you lemon, throw them back at life

this poem is realluy powerful, especially the last line

on Jul. 15 2011 at 10:02 pm
autumn_meets_winter PLATINUM, Houma, Louisiana
22 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
Bleed with your pen, not your wrist.

Don't we all??

on Jul. 15 2011 at 9:59 pm
Delictious GOLD, Lubbock, Texas
16 articles 5 photos 151 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I would like to be remembered as a woman who did the best she could with the talent she had."

Thank you so much! I pride myself on details <3

on Jul. 15 2011 at 9:56 pm
autumn_meets_winter PLATINUM, Houma, Louisiana
22 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
Bleed with your pen, not your wrist.

I like this one too. Your flow between lines is beautiful. And your details, once again, are fine. Gorgeous, actually.

on Jul. 15 2011 at 8:15 pm
Delictious GOLD, Lubbock, Texas
16 articles 5 photos 151 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I would like to be remembered as a woman who did the best she could with the talent she had."

Thank you so much! I guess how I think of it is I have a VERY creative imagination and like things to take a weird turn(: Thanks for your nice comment!

on Jul. 15 2011 at 7:58 pm
Garnet77 PLATINUM, Sinagpore, Other
31 articles 6 photos 578 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything's a triangle." ~ My mother

"Write what you love, write what you care about, because sometimes, it's the easiest way to be heard."

I love your poetry! How do you think of this stuff??? Like several people have said before me, your word choice is superb. And I love the rhymes. This is amazing. Keep writing! :)

on Jul. 15 2011 at 7:42 pm
Delictious GOLD, Lubbock, Texas
16 articles 5 photos 151 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I would like to be remembered as a woman who did the best she could with the talent she had."

Thank you! I also love the last lines as well<3
Thank you for the feedback as well! I can see how the and in the third line can make it choppy, thanks!

firenrain GOLD said...
on Jul. 15 2011 at 7:34 pm
firenrain GOLD, Belle Mead, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A room without books is like a body without a soul."

- Cicero

Roman author, orator, & politician (106 BC - 43 BC)

i really really enjoyed this poem. As people have said, your last two lines, spoke to me the most. The only thing I found that you could improve on is the structure and flow of the poem. I also found that when you used the word "and" a lot in the third line it didn't flow as well. But that could just be me :) Overall great job!

on Jul. 15 2011 at 6:06 pm
Delictious GOLD, Lubbock, Texas
16 articles 5 photos 151 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I would like to be remembered as a woman who did the best she could with the talent she had."

Thankk you!

on Jul. 15 2011 at 2:53 pm
NinjaGirl BRONZE, Valley City, North Dakota
1 article 0 photos 202 comments

Favorite Quote:
The only thing holding us back in life is our desire to stay where we are and not venture further.
~Some random person on the Internet :P

Very good! Loved your word choice and the emotion you put into this. Nice job finding rhymes :)

on Jul. 14 2011 at 3:09 pm
Delictious GOLD, Lubbock, Texas
16 articles 5 photos 151 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I would like to be remembered as a woman who did the best she could with the talent she had."

Thank you!

alex198 said...
on Jul. 14 2011 at 1:38 pm
alex198, |, Other
0 articles 0 photos 113 comments

I love it! Especially the last two lines. The whole poem is just filled with so much emotion. Well done :)

 


on Jul. 14 2011 at 12:06 pm
Delictious GOLD, Lubbock, Texas
16 articles 5 photos 151 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I would like to be remembered as a woman who did the best she could with the talent she had."

Thank youu!


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