Take my Heart and Break It

October 11, 2009
By jennee21_ann GOLD, Helper, Utah
jennee21_ann GOLD, Helper, Utah
17 articles 0 photos 568 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't gain the world and lose your soul....wisdom is better than silver or gold."

"You can always close a book, but you can never close the mind of a writer."


Take my broken heart,
and rip it from my chest.
Steal away my soul,
and finally put me to rest.

I dreamt about you day and night,
and I wanted you to be mine.
You watched me in my hardest days,
and sometimes you watched me shine.

Every time I saw you,
my heart would skip a beat.
Every time you said my name,
I would spring out of my seat.

I loved you with my heart and soul.
I loved you year after year.
But something always kept us apart:
our confusion, our chances, our fear.

But now there is no hope for us,
we are doomed to be apart.
Maybe I won't feel the pain
if you completely break my heart.


The author's comments:
Most of the time relationships grow from the innocence of a best friend. This is my poem explaining how it feels to realize that. This is also to express the awful truth when you discover that you can never be together.

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This article has 213 comments.


on Apr. 22 2010 at 8:19 pm
writergirl13 GOLD, Cherry Hill, New Jersey
11 articles 8 photos 261 comments

Favorite Quote:
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
Ambrose Bierce

It's not easy to make me cry, but those few stanzas almost did, especially the last one. So beautiful and so true. :')

on Apr. 14 2010 at 9:05 pm
tennisislovee34 GOLD, Sterling Heights, Michigan
15 articles 3 photos 91 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Every moment of your life, you're writing. Even in your dreams, you're writing. When you walk the halls in this school you meet various people and you write furiously in your head." -Frank McCourt

This has to be one of my most favorite poems I've ever read on here. Literally. It has a lot of emotion in it, and actually reminds me of this guy from my past. But the point is, THIS IS AMAZING. :)

on Apr. 13 2010 at 11:56 am
chelsead BRONZE, Marlette, Michigan
2 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not fear death, but rather the unlived life. You don't have to live forever, you just have to live."
-Tuck Everlasting

I completely understood this poem and felt like it went directly with my story the "Daydreamer." I loved your end rhyme and how the poem flowed. This is beautiful =] 

on Apr. 12 2010 at 11:26 am
LiveLife2theMax GOLD, Wicklow, Other
12 articles 4 photos 74 comments

Favorite Quote:
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.
-Robert Frost

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.
-Kurt Cobain

wow. this is amazing. i loved the way that it didn't rhyme just for the sake, that he rhyming actually made sense. its a great poem.you should be really proud of this one.

i loved it (:


on Mar. 30 2010 at 11:29 pm
liltrinhle SILVER, Raleigh, North Carolina
8 articles 6 photos 37 comments

Thank you for your comment on my page!

:]

and I like this piece. A way to improve it is possibly add more imagery to it, so that way the reader can clearly see what and how the speaker is feeling... You said "love" a lot, but you didn't SHOW it as much, ya know?

so I think if that is established more, it would be nothing but wonderful


HPGGMRAR GOLD said...
on Mar. 28 2010 at 6:57 pm
HPGGMRAR GOLD, Kennesaw, Georgia
14 articles 6 photos 91 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I musn't forget I'm alive."
Ray Bradbury (Dandelion Wine)

Great poem! The last stanza, last line was my favorite! It's a refreshing look at the scenario and I love the line!!!

 


on Mar. 24 2010 at 2:58 pm
Ashlie94 BRONZE, Peru, Kansas
4 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't give up and don't give in.. cause the info you give out,you can't take back in.

Wow!! You are an amazing writer and i love how your poem has a lot of truth to it. Keep writing. :)

on Feb. 23 2010 at 8:01 am
noelleism PLATINUM, Russellville, Alabama
24 articles 0 photos 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
I can not dwell on the past, and I will not live on what the future may hold, but yet take comfort and find perpose in the second yet to come.

I like this alot. I've had something like this happen to me. But I hope my end is perfect. Love it. keep-it-up.

p.s. not so sure this is a sonnet there supposed to have 14 lines you have 11. :)

on Feb. 19 2010 at 4:20 am
taintedannex GOLD, Hong Kong, Other
15 articles 5 photos 166 comments

Favorite Quote:
The truth is that at some point, everyone's going to hurt you. You just have to decide who's worth the pain.

Some say having something to lose is what makes you vulnerable. I believe that having something to lose only makes you stronger.

Wow, this is so fantastic.

I love it to bits :) You've captured the emotions so perfectly and expressed them exactly as they feel. Take everything you said about my poem and double it for yours ;)

bellviven GOLD said...
on Jan. 28 2010 at 3:57 pm
bellviven GOLD, Emporia, Kansas
19 articles 0 photos 6 comments
i know what you meen hmmm great work love it

on Jan. 23 2010 at 4:04 pm
VampiericRain GOLD, Amarillo, Texas
12 articles 0 photos 137 comments

Favorite Quote:
Would you like a side of epic with that fail?

Isn't that the truth. I'm having a problem like this and it sucks.

Lonleydandy said...
on Jan. 18 2010 at 7:33 am
Love it love it love it

on Jan. 13 2010 at 2:45 pm
calephchad BRONZE, Guin, Alabama
4 articles 0 photos 84 comments
This poem is so true to life. Thanks for posting this. Very well written. This is a definite 5 out of 5. If you'd like, stop by and check out some of my work.

ZiRaww! SILVER said...
on Jan. 10 2010 at 10:19 pm
ZiRaww! SILVER, Phoenix, Arizona
5 articles 0 photos 96 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Giving up doesn’t always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go. ”

This brought tears to my eyes and unlocked the pain

on Jan. 7 2010 at 11:15 am
Katarabri BRONZE, Dale City, Virginia
3 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
Holy Schnitzels

LOVE IT :O. Its very deep and thoughtful!! keep writing X3

on Jan. 7 2010 at 4:55 am
ShernayB. DIAMOND, Southfield, Michigan
62 articles 1 photo 881 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Some things will never change"---Tupac

This is deep, and sad too. But ilove it. You are talented.

If you have time, will you please check out my work. Leave a comment and rate if you wish. Thanks!

on Jan. 4 2010 at 7:52 pm
DustyCheyanne<3 SILVER, Excelsior Springs, Missouri
7 articles 3 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
Its going to hurt, before it feels better. Trust me.. Its worth it.

This is sad, but amazing (:

Beautiful.

And its something i can definatley relate to. Great job!

on Dec. 28 2009 at 2:57 pm
kiwi12 PLATINUM, Austin, Texas
28 articles 10 photos 365 comments
oh this is so simple and amazing! plus i wanna say you picked the most perfect picture for this poem... i love little stuff like that. so good!

Zero_K DIAMOND said...
on Dec. 23 2009 at 5:17 pm
Zero_K DIAMOND, Moosic, Pennsylvania
83 articles 0 photos 435 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life's no fun if you're not insane, otherwise you grow up to be an accountant." -Moi

First off, thanks for the lovely comment! And number two, this is FABULOUS! I can relate! We actually went out for 2 months before I realized it wasn't right. Great job!

-Blessed Be!

+++ZERO+++

Ridelova101 said...
on Dec. 19 2009 at 3:39 pm
I know exactly how you feel. I loved the poem.


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