Take my Heart and Break It

October 11, 2009
Take my broken heart,
and rip it from my chest.
Steal away my soul,
and finally put me to rest.

I dreamt about you day and night,
and I wanted you to be mine.
You watched me in my hardest days,
and sometimes you watched me shine.

Every time I saw you,
my heart would skip a beat.
Every time you said my name,
I would spring out of my seat.

I loved you with my heart and soul.
I loved you year after year.
But something always kept us apart:
our confusion, our chances, our fear.

But now there is no hope for us,
we are doomed to be apart.
Maybe I won't feel the pain
if you completely break my heart.





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This article has 214 comments. Post your own now!

writergirl13 said...
Apr. 22, 2010 at 8:19 pm
It's not easy to make me cry, but those few stanzas almost did, especially the last one. So beautiful and so true. :')
 
tennisislovee34 said...
Apr. 14, 2010 at 9:05 pm
This has to be one of my most favorite poems I've ever read on here. Literally. It has a lot of emotion in it, and actually reminds me of this guy from my past. But the point is, THIS IS AMAZING. :)
 
chelsead said...
Apr. 13, 2010 at 11:56 am
I completely understood this poem and felt like it went directly with my story the "Daydreamer." I loved your end rhyme and how the poem flowed. This is beautiful =] 
 
LiveLife2theMax said...
Apr. 12, 2010 at 11:26 am

wow. this is amazing. i loved the way that it didn't rhyme just for the sake, that he rhyming actually made sense. its a great poem.you should be really proud of this one.

i loved it (:

 
tenderheartx3 said...
Mar. 30, 2010 at 11:29 pm

Thank you for your comment on my page!

:]

and I like this piece. A way to improve it is possibly add more imagery to it, so that way the reader can clearly see what and how the speaker is feeling... You said "love" a lot, but you didn't SHOW it as much, ya know?

so I think if that is established more, it would be nothing but wonderful

 
lunaEccentric said...
Mar. 28, 2010 at 6:57 pm

Great poem! The last stanza, last line was my favorite! It's a refreshing look at the scenario and I love the line!!!

 

 
Ashlie94 said...
Mar. 24, 2010 at 2:58 pm
Wow!! You are an amazing writer and i love how your poem has a lot of truth to it. Keep writing. :)
 
noelleism said...
Feb. 23, 2010 at 8:01 am
I like this alot. I've had something like this happen to me. But I hope my end is perfect. Love it. keep-it-up.
p.s. not so sure this is a sonnet there supposed to have 14 lines you have 11. :)
 
annexgrey This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 19, 2010 at 4:20 am
Wow, this is so fantastic.
I love it to bits :) You've captured the emotions so perfectly and expressed them exactly as they feel. Take everything you said about my poem and double it for yours ;)
 
bellvivenThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 28, 2010 at 3:57 pm
i know what you meen hmmm great work love it
 
***Rain*** said...
Jan. 23, 2010 at 4:04 pm
Isn't that the truth. I'm having a problem like this and it sucks.
 
Lonleydandy said...
Jan. 18, 2010 at 7:33 am
Love it love it love it
 
calephchad said...
Jan. 13, 2010 at 2:45 pm
This poem is so true to life. Thanks for posting this. Very well written. This is a definite 5 out of 5. If you'd like, stop by and check out some of my work.
 
ZiRaww! said...
Jan. 10, 2010 at 10:19 pm
This brought tears to my eyes and unlocked the pain
 
Katarabri said...
Jan. 7, 2010 at 11:15 am
LOVE IT :O. Its very deep and thoughtful!! keep writing X3
 
ShernayB. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 7, 2010 at 4:55 am
This is deep, and sad too. But ilove it. You are talented.
If you have time, will you please check out my work. Leave a comment and rate if you wish. Thanks!
 
DustyCheyanne<3 said...
Jan. 4, 2010 at 7:52 pm
This is sad, but amazing (:
Beautiful.
And its something i can definatley relate to. Great job!
 
kiwi12 said...
Dec. 28, 2009 at 2:57 pm
oh this is so simple and amazing! plus i wanna say you picked the most perfect picture for this poem... i love little stuff like that. so good!
 
Zero_K This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 23, 2009 at 5:17 pm
First off, thanks for the lovely comment! And number two, this is FABULOUS! I can relate! We actually went out for 2 months before I realized it wasn't right. Great job!
-Blessed Be!
+++ZERO+++
 
Ridelova101 said...
Dec. 19, 2009 at 3:39 pm
I know exactly how you feel. I loved the poem.
 
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