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You & Me

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I saw you today,
But you're not as I remember.
Your eyes no longer sparkle,
You've changed since last September.

You were so full of life,
Yet now you are so cold.
Your personality has tarnished,
When you once had a heart of gold.

You fell out of my life,
Just like leaves in the fall.
We were so very close,
Now you're not here at all.

You saw me today,
I'm the same as you remember.
My eyes still sparkle,
I've not changed since last September.

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ScottieMeuse said...
Apr. 6, 2011 at 12:34 pm
oh, and your title is improper grammar. it should be You & I. that is all.
ScottieMeuse said...
Apr. 6, 2011 at 12:33 pm
i agreed with the authors comments about the poem. i liked your rhyme scheme, ABCB.
Kary123 replied...
Apr. 15, 2011 at 8:11 pm
I like the rhyme scheme too.
kayllaax3 said...
Apr. 6, 2011 at 12:08 pm
I really liked the personification/simile when you said "You fel out of my life just like leaves in the fall" also it created imagery ! :D
hiii said...
Apr. 6, 2011 at 12:06 pm
this is my favorite poem yet, i like the rhyming and the way you can tell how the author was feeling when she wrote this.
kvater said...
Apr. 6, 2011 at 11:59 am
i really liked this poem i can relate to it and i like the ryming
leahmersicano said...
Apr. 6, 2011 at 11:58 am
I like this poem because I like the rhyme scheme and the message that it is telling.
nicole.ryan said...
Apr. 6, 2011 at 11:56 am
I really enjoyed this poem because it describes past feelings and current feelings and it's something I can relate to.
dembro.ariana said...
Apr. 6, 2011 at 11:55 am
i really like this poem because it reminds me of what happened to me and a friend last year . and i love the use of similes
HopeRising said...
Apr. 4, 2011 at 10:10 am
totally freakin' awesome and way true. thank you
poet_heart said...
Mar. 30, 2011 at 10:44 am
This happened to me with a best friend... last Spetember! Loved it(:
luv_4_broadway This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 28, 2011 at 1:47 pm
This totally happened to me this year... and it was about September the last time I talked openly with this person. Explains the feelings exactly! Great poem!
LyricalDisaster said...
Mar. 25, 2011 at 11:58 am
Amazing poem ! :]
adriannalovesanime said...
Mar. 21, 2011 at 6:16 pm
I really liked this, short but really good. Great job!:D
cnoevilspeaknoevilhearnoevil replied...
Mar. 24, 2011 at 12:03 pm
i wouldnt say it was short i think that she wanted it to be simple and easy to understand.
RosySea said...
Mar. 12, 2011 at 6:24 pm
Good job! You really captured that feeling when you realize someone's not who you remember.
Bren_Bren said...
Mar. 10, 2011 at 9:44 pm
I Love it!! I can really relate to this....... can you check out my peom and let me know what you think??
Volcanic This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 4, 2011 at 2:25 pm
I know EXACTLY how this feels.. good poem. I like the similies. :)
mcnwritingsoul said...
Mar. 3, 2011 at 6:26 pm

hi guys,

can you all plz read/comment/rate my work? im STARVING  for feedback!

MomoSaysRawrr said...
Mar. 3, 2011 at 1:07 pm
Fantastic. (: Read my work and comment?
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