You & Me

October 8, 2009
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I saw you today,
But you're not as I remember.
Your eyes no longer sparkle,
You've changed since last September.

You were so full of life,
Yet now you are so cold.
Your personality has tarnished,
When you once had a heart of gold.

You fell out of my life,
Just like leaves in the fall.
We were so very close,
Now you're not here at all.

You saw me today,
I'm the same as you remember.
My eyes still sparkle,
I've not changed since last September.

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Terraincognita said...
Nov. 16, 2011 at 7:24 am

good poem! But it's not in sonnet form...

sonnets are written 10 sylables by 10 lines in this rime order:











kobie1kenobi said...
Nov. 15, 2011 at 9:19 am
I really did enjoy it, thank you. It relates to just about everyone, the main idea of it and all. It was extremely well-worded, the rhythm was all together, and the whole feel of it all captivates the reader. I guess you could say that it emanates good vibes. ;)
irishlass317 said...
Nov. 13, 2011 at 2:43 pm

Very Good!!!! I love it!!!! :D


Jinxness said...
Nov. 10, 2011 at 4:37 pm

I cannot put words to how accurately this represents how I have felt, and still feel. So I will leave it at an enthusiatic 'well done'.

~Jinx <3

BlackRose21 said...
Nov. 10, 2011 at 12:05 pm
I totally agree. I have seen alot of this happening.
Katherine_Parker said...
Nov. 10, 2011 at 11:32 am
This is very good:)
bakedbeans said...
Nov. 10, 2011 at 11:21 am
I kind of like this it's true and nice
writer101 said...
Nov. 8, 2011 at 4:53 pm

It is good and yes i agree with it is sad.Grat work!


Chelsyy said...
Nov. 4, 2011 at 7:46 pm
Wow i can so relate so simple but says it all amzing x33
pupet master41 said...
Nov. 3, 2011 at 9:40 am

wonderful poem


babigerl1194 said...
Oct. 31, 2011 at 7:09 pm
A poem as simple as this yet so relatable is such great work!
Dancing4Jesus said...
Oct. 31, 2011 at 2:02 pm
Really describes summer :)... I'm new on here and definitely needs more views check out my work, constructive criticism is what I need to help me become a better writer! Thanks guys and gals!
stillheartless This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 29, 2011 at 11:06 pm
I cannot believe how well this explains last summer for me. This is trully stupendous.
Lexie96 said...
Oct. 27, 2011 at 9:53 pm
I love this so much... it's beautiful. If anyone has time would they mind checking out my poem... I'd sure appreciate it if you could! Please and thank you
EscapeSanity said...
Oct. 25, 2011 at 8:29 pm
I love this poem! It relates to everyone and really gives the feeling of whats going on. I enjoyed this poem. :)
horsewriter4evr said...
Oct. 22, 2011 at 7:36 pm
Wow this is really great! It just shows how people change almost all the time.
RachaelSt said...
Oct. 18, 2011 at 1:16 pm
i like pie
DeAunna said...
Oct. 14, 2011 at 10:48 am

Very relatable, and I love the transition from points of view, has a good flow to it, and a nice topic. I really like it a lot :)


CandyGirl636 said...
Oct. 12, 2011 at 4:56 am

This is a very nice poem. I like how everyone can relate to it.

~If someone want's to give me some feedback on my work, I would like that greatly. :) Thanks

mhafner said...
Oct. 10, 2011 at 9:36 pm
I like that you wrote a poem that relates to everyday teenage lives. We all know of somebody who has changed and you always look back at how they used to be and when you write about something that people can relate to it's a lot more enjoyable and more readers will listen. This is a simple, and beautiful poem.
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