Heavy Heavy Heart Song

October 3, 2017
By Anonymous

A spiritual fire crack, spark, then light her
a vision inside of my skull, hold it tighter
a poetic, forensic, assessment of my heart
the chalk lines show no sign of struggle or violence
it's almost as if it was ripped right from my chest
killed the capacity to feel enlightened
a hole in my soul, now how do I mend it?
some days all I think is the second amendment
a hole in my head escape from this cage
that's my mortal body I live in each day
sunshine and good times they fade to my dark lines
the world forgets me like maybe I flat lined
my hope I just burned it for some stupid chick
emotions were rising I worshipped this b****
now gold I thought I had it's so dead like lead
all gas in my tank like money I spent
I do all of these things like art and guitar
make out with women and blast in my car
away from the pain so I can sustain
some form of confidence, a hope for the gain
for something that isn't this hell I am living
surrounded by great things for which I'm not driven
how do I pick it back up? it's a mess
If I live past 25 I’ll be so blessed
God yes you know me am I a good man?
tell me if I'll make it, now what is the plan?
I will keep grinding like BUDS evolutions
a soldier that's crying for a resolution
I will not give up so don't quit on me
fight through the night with me until I'm free!

The author's comments:

I wrote this at a dark time in life. I had just come back from rehab and had no friends or anybody to be with aside from my family. I was becoming very lonely. I started to date a girl named Amy but she friendzoned me and all the hope I had was shattered. I knew I needed something to pull me out of the dump, and I thought it was going to be Amy, but I was wrong. This is the whimperings of my troubled heart way back last year when I nearly lost the will to carry on. I'm ok now.

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