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That's me and who I forever think I'll be

By , Tankovo, Bulgaria

I feel like i want to die right now
But at the same time I actually do not
I don't want to do anything
But sitting alone in a dark room
And cry till my tears run dry
I want, I need a friend
To make me smile
To make me laugh again

Sometimes i think I don't deserve it
To be happy,
to feel alive.
But maybe I should
Just be my own best friend.

I am suffering here, I am suffering
Feeling just like an old broken soul
Locked into a young humen body

Mayde I am just punished here
Punished to feel,
To breath,
To be alive
Without being able
To feel it at most of the time

Is it too much
All that I want

I think I am not for here
That I am not good enough
That I'm a wreck

At times I tell myself
"You deserve to die"
But then I realise
I don't have the right
To take away my own life

It might doesen't make a sense
But that's just me
and who I think
I'll forever be

And when I break down
In front of myself
I realise how many things
i keep in this poor f***ed up head

How ever at the end of the day
I go to sleep in my cold bed
And that's what I like the most
To be able to do things
Without feeling love

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