Thank whatever’s above me I have no brothers
And for not giving birth to one, bless my mother
I’m the only kid in my house, there’s no other
But why wouldn’t I like an Alwi, another?
Well, to start, I like to be my parents’ only son
Because it’s a lot more fun for me
This way. To this day, I can go astray
With my parents gone out, and away
And no sibling can make me stay
By threatening to tell them.
Therefore, I can keep rebelling
Without someone to annoy me.
Plus, a sibling would be noisy
And would stop me from doing what I enjoy, see.
I’d probably kick them from here to Boise
Because I have no need for losing sleep
From constant screams coming from the deep
Of whatever room my brother would occupy,
Impossible to soothe him with a lullaby.
I say brother, but not exclusively
I’d hate a sister, too, as you could see
I don’t like sharing, I wouldn’t be caring
About how my sibling’s faring or blaring.
As long as they’re not dead, I’d be in bed,
Shutting my ears from whatever they’d have said.
I’ll go so crazy I’d start taking meds,
And be tempted, maybe, to fill them with lead.
Then there’s the fact that my parents won’t adore
Me, a bore. They’d love my little sibling more,
See me and snore, and make me do some chores.
The pain inside would leave my jaded heart sore
And this would become a one-on-one war.
The list goes on and on, I’m not wrong
When I say thinking this hurts like a baton.
I don’t want to be looked up at, either
And I’d hope that they’d be no fighter.
If they could hit me all they’d want,
Their immunity would be a haunt.
So it’s clear I’m scared of siblings,
I’d rather have my house burn down
To the ground, with them as kindling.