In disguise

May 2, 2015

He was an artist,

and my body was his canvas.

Blinded by his love,

I was his masterpiece.

 

First, he came off sweet,

he swayed his brush of watercolor,

painting the colors of happiness.

I was a walking figure of his talent,

and I was okay with that.

Becuase he made me feel beautiful.

 

He painted carefully,

making sure of every detail.

He made sure no paint dripped or had a leak,

and that my beauty was at it's peak.

He took care of me,

like any artist would of their art.

 

But then he started to run out of space on his canvas,

so the force he put upon the brush became harder,

painting over the watercolor with colors darker,

it started to hurt.

 

As if what I was wasn't enough.

 

watercolor paint is light, sort of see through,

it makes the illusion of gentless.

But he started to paint with opaque,

solid, bold colors,

like black and blue.

Something you can't hide,

my body was getting tender.

 

I didn't feel pretty anymore.

 

He use to paint butterflies on my tummy,

but now I see spiders.

He use to paint clouds on my feet,

to show that he swept me away.

But now i'm chained to the floor,

my body is too far from the door.

 

I was a walking figure of his talent,

and now I walk my head is shame.

I'm stuck and don't know how to get away,

but it's okay,

i know he loves me, right?

 

I gave him my all,

and I guess that was my mistake.

I don't know how much beatings I can take,

till I break from all this body ache.

 

"I didn't mean to hurt you," he said,

"I will change, I swear" he begged,

And I believed it,

becuase I was in love and thought he'd quit.

 

A slap of black,

and a dash of blue.

This canvas was turning ugly,

I couldn't leave, I was stuck like glue.

 

And it didn't take long till he painted red,

where nights I was helpless on my bed.

Blood is what I shed,

I just wanted to feel pretty again.

 

But with every stroke of his brush was another punch,

leaving me with another mixture of black and blue.

He made me feel beautiful,

but now I don't know what to do.

He was an abuser in disguise of an artist,

what can I say?

I was in love and thought it was okay.






Join the Discussion

This article has 13 comments. Post your own now!

Nated315This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 4, 2016 at 9:07 am
wow! you nailed it! it is story-like but definitely not a prose piece. you PAINTED the poem onto me. I feel the emotions and power. you know, people try to change others to meet their standards and can get hurt or hurt others along the way! good job!!!!
 
Consalvator This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 1, 2015 at 9:56 am
Very pretty imagery and overall idea. Major suggestions are 1. Watch your rhyming. I couldn't figure out the rhyming pattern, and some of your rhymes felt very forced and uncomfortable with the rest of the poem. 2. Two lines I would change that didn't make sense are "...walk my head in shame" and "he made sure no paint dripped or had a leak". I would suggest "and now I walk with my head down in shame." and "He made sure no paint dripped or made me look weak." Great analogy of humans and paintin... (more »)
 
Izzy777 replied...
Jul. 1, 2015 at 4:17 pm
Wow, thank you! most helpful advice I've ever gotten! Thank you so much, this is going into a book and I appreciate your focus onto my piece. I will definitely fix it! thanks once again (:
 
KatyainiThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 29, 2015 at 11:08 pm
Loved it.......... you surely haven't cut anything in this piece???? If you haven't, please don't do it now. Without even a single sentence, this poem will look incomplete. Sometimes, our heart itself becomes the biggest nemesis of our life.... and those times are anything but pretty.
 
JRaye This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 29, 2015 at 10:53 pm
Besides a few spelling errors, this poem blew me away. I do agree you could cut a bit out, but the idea is so unique and beautiful, I've never thought of abusive relationships this way! Really beautiful, there were moments that really left me awestuck - amazing, you definitely have talent.
 
ClueingForLooksThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 26, 2015 at 3:42 pm
Wow, this is great! I love how you use the paint as a metaphor for how other people can shape us. The only thing I can think of to change is (this is just my opinion) the poem seems to go on for a bit too long. I would recommend going back over it and seeing if there are any lines or stanzas that you could do without. This might be just me, because I tend to prefer poetry that is quick and to-the-point. Keep up the great work. :)
 
Adia16 said...
Jun. 26, 2015 at 12:34 pm
Nice Job! 7
 
ThePoeticJustice said...
Jun. 24, 2015 at 6:28 pm
wow.......... just wow. All I can honestly say is change "Gentless" to Gentlness XD
 
Hanban12 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 24, 2015 at 4:02 pm
This is a really great piece; it displays something that happens all the time in a metaphorical, relatable way. I like the idea of telling a story through poetry, and you did just that, so awesome job! As just a minor critique to help though, your details and imagery were amazing, and I wish there was more of it. Maybe, by revising it, you can add more, replacing "telling" statements with more imagery. It's just personal opinion though, so don't worry on it, I love this poem through and through.... (more »)
 
Izzy777 replied...
Jun. 26, 2015 at 2:06 pm
Well I ALWAYS take another person's opinion into consideration, thank you for reading it!! makes me really happy. Do you have any idea's in mind for imagery? Or ideas for a next piece? TOPICS are always welcomed
 
Hanban12 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 29, 2015 at 5:24 pm
Well, I'd say start practicing like this: write a poem describing a boring object. Say, like a lamp. Challenge yourself by not allowing yourself to write in any "tell" phrases; that is, write only words that vividly describe the lamp, such as "a sunshine colored shade" with "a shining, polished base," etc. After you do this with a few things, you slowly build on your writing skills, and you also start to see things most people take for granted in a whole new perspective. It's just a suggestion, ... (more »)
 
Anna141 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 23, 2015 at 6:38 pm
Wow, this is a very powerful piece! It's a hard subject but your metaphor conveyed it beautifully, keep writing!
 
Jackpot-the-GreatThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 23, 2015 at 2:34 pm
Blindness of Love. It can REALLY kill you. Interesting piece
 
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