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Everything In My Head

November 15, 2014
By sarahcarp63 DIAMOND, Denver, Colorado
More by this author
sarahcarp63 DIAMOND, Denver, Colorado
51 articles 2 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
'The really important people in life have a way of coming back to you'
'Good enough isn't good enough'
'You don't have to be sick to get better'
'Come what may and love it'

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He always knew how to play
Me to a beat
He'd play head games
Then cheat
I don't think he knows
How to be honest
And I don't think he knows
How to keep a promise
Disappointment is his middle name
And I know nothing's really changed

It's like everything in my head
Is saying don't give in again
But my heart won't listen
I keep tellin it, tellin it,
Once a cheater, always a cheater
His motto is love her then leave her
Little girl don't be a stupid girl
There's other boys left in this world
It's like everything in my head
Is sayin walk away, walk away kid

He is as charming
As he always was
My heart is starving
For just a little love
I don't think he knows
I'm trying to get away
I know he doesn't know
I think he's a big mistake
He thinks he's playing subtle
And man am I in trouble

It's like everything in my head
Is saying don't give in again
But my heart won't listen
I keep tellin it, tellin it,
Once a cheater, always a cheater
His motto is love her then leave her
Little girl don't be a stupid girl
There's other boys left in this world
It's like everything in my head
Is sayin walk away, walk away kid

Everything in my head is
Echoing
Don't fall for it again
But my stubborn heart
Just won't listen

It's like everything in my head
Is saying don't give in again
But my heart won't listen
I keep tellin it, tellin it,
Once a cheater, always a cheater
His motto is love her then leave her
Little girl don't be a stupid girl
There's other boys left in this world
It's like everything in my head
Is sayin walk away, walk away kid

© Michelle M., Plainview, NY

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 6 comments.

Allen. PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 15 2015 at 9:01 am
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

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There were very few awkward rhymes, but they did exist. However, I like where you were going with this and it was definitely a 4.5 star.
sarahcarp63 DIAMOND said...
on Jan. 23 2015 at 1:16 pm
sarahcarp63 DIAMOND, Denver, Colorado
51 articles 2 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
'The really important people in life have a way of coming back to you'
'Good enough isn't good enough'
'You don't have to be sick to get better'
'Come what may and love it'

View profile
Maybe its a cliche for a reason. It happens to a lot of people, you're right. But when I was in this situation, this is how I felt, so I wrote down the way I saw it.
SpidersAcrossStars PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 22 2015 at 8:28 pm
SpidersAcrossStars PLATINUM, Hayward, California
36 articles 0 photos 160 comments

Favorite Quote:
For you, a thousand times over.

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2.5/5. tbh it was a little cliche for me. a story a lot of people have heard before. i would have liked to hear a different take on the situation or different ways to say it. alot of subjects are very popular in writing/lyrics (love, heartbreak, loneliness, beauty) the key is making it your own. easier said than done but i do understand that this is a music piece and actually hearing could have a whole different feel and change my feelings but in regards to the lyrics...i think it could have been more powerful
MatchaJasmine BRONZE said...
on Jan. 13 2015 at 9:45 am
MatchaJasmine BRONZE, Delhi, Other
4 articles 0 photos 49 comments
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Really nice poem! The repetition makes your poem absolutely wonderful and great choice of words.
sarahcarp63 DIAMOND said...
on Dec. 2 2014 at 3:18 pm
sarahcarp63 DIAMOND, Denver, Colorado
51 articles 2 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
'The really important people in life have a way of coming back to you'
'Good enough isn't good enough'
'You don't have to be sick to get better'
'Come what may and love it'

View profile
Thanks so much for the honest feedback. I think the genre is punk rock with pop influence. I definitely have the tune in my head but I haven't laid it out all the way so it could change.
Helena_Noel BRONZE said...
on Nov. 29 2014 at 10:16 pm
Helena_Noel BRONZE, Burnt Hills, New York
1 article 0 photos 629 comments

Favorite Quote:
“I'd rather see a sermon than hear one any day; I'd rather one should walk with me than merely tell the way: The eye's a better pupil and more willing than the ear, fine counsel is confusing, but example's always clear.” -Edgar Guest

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Wow! Pretty good!
What's the genre? If I had to take a guess, I would say is something I feel has to be sung with an *atittude.* Just reading the lyrics, I'm getting this distinct punk-rock feel, like the older Avril Lavigne songs. (music is quite subjective, the vibe can be very different if reader doesn't have context.) The only sugestion I can think of might be to list the genre in the comments, and maybe for future works in the 'about' section. My fav part definitely had to be the chourus' first four lines. Great use of slant rhymes, and the repeat in the fourth line helped keep flow. Nice job! Definitely write on!