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All I'll Ever be is Hurting

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Funny how when I see you now I don’t want to run up and hug you like I did before. You’re just a distant boy harboring a memory…of tainted loved ruined by ones fear of losing the façade of happy they worked so long to gain. And I’m not even sad! No, no…I’m not even sad that every word you said you didn’t meant. Trust me I’m over it.
I’m over feeling lost when you’re standing right next to me. I’m over grabbing hands and having to reach. I’m done listening to this silly old song. By now I’m just pretending, I know this soon will be ending. You’ve lost the will to make me feel whole anymore. You’re over sewing up the cuts of my bleeding soul. To you I’m just a fool begging for your love, aching from my self-inflicted hurt. All I’ll ever be is hurt, hurt, hurt to you…that’s all I’ll ever be, is hurting.
Do you remember that time we were sitting, drinking, talking, laughing; and then you stopped everything? And you looked at me and told me, “I don’t like it…I’ve known others like you.” And I frowned, looked at the ground. The one person, who wasn’t supposed to judge me, just generalized and labeled my entire being. And I wanted to flip the table over slap and your face with the words I say. You’re supposed to love me!
I’m over feeling lost when you’re standing right next to me. I’m over grabbing hands and having to reach. I’m done listening to this silly old song. By now I’m just pretending, I know this soon will be ending. You’ve lost the will to make me feel whole anymore. You’re over sewing up the cuts of my bleeding soul. To you I’m just a fool begging for your love, aching from my self-inflicted hurt. All I’ll ever be is hurt, hurt, hurt to you…that’s all I’ll ever be, is hurting.
Right now I’m thinking about how…I let you kiss me. The idea was so intimidating. It was like I was baring my soul, for you to rip into two. God almighty I had no idea what to do. But you held me, oh so tenderly. Keeping the pieces all together and pulling at me heart strings, to let the draw bridge down and have me sing. But I pushed away, before you got any farther. I wasn’t ready, and you got angry. You were so much older, so much more mature.
I’m over feeling lost when you’re standing right next to me. I’m over grabbing hands and having to reach. I’m done listening to this silly old song. By now I’m just pretending, I know this soon will be ending. You’ve lost the will to make me feel whole anymore. You’re over sewing up the cuts of my bleeding soul. To you I’m just a fool begging for your love, aching from my self-inflicted hurt. All I’ll ever be is hurt, hurt, hurt to you…that’s all I’ll ever be, is hurting.
I had my lessoned learned… I don’t trust many people with my secrets anymore. You helped me learn to hide my dark side, and always be happy. To never let me walls down and to never frown. Now no one will question what’s wrong…I’ll look happy and content. While in fact only he could say…she isn’t…
I’m over feeling lost when you’re standing right next to me. I’m over grabbing hands and having to reach. I’m done listening to this silly old song. By now I’m just pretending, I know this soon will be ending. You’ve lost the will to make me feel whole anymore. You’re over sewing up the cuts of my bleeding soul. To you I’m just a fool begging for your love, aching from my self-inflicted hurt. All I’ll ever be is hurt, hurt, hurt to you…that’s all I’ll ever be, is hurting.
I’m not even sad, that you’ve left. Trust me boy I’ve gotten over it. I’m perfectly, happy right now…you can get over yourself. You were no help… No, no…I’m not even sad that every word you said you didn’t meant. Trust me I’m over it.



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