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Lost in the Moment

Im lost in the moment, forgetting all your torment, can`t control my movements, im leaving you with cupid, loves a waste of time, its stupid.

all love is lost, you were to much like a boss, no care in the world, only money you could toss, i showed you passion, i showed you love, and you repayed me with a hateful shove, i wont say i hate you, i will never try to hurt you, but all hope is lost as im, lost in the moment.

Im lost in the moment, forgetting all your torment, can`t control my movements, im leaving you with cupid, loves a waste of time, its stupid.

I feel like im drugged, only by your love, now that im finished, you can say your done, i only waqnt you to love me, like i love you mum.



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RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 5, 2013 at 6:27 pm
Umm... This sounds like a conflicted relationship... Good rhythm though
 
Lawless-FlameRose replied...
Feb. 6, 2013 at 1:24 pm
not just about me its about all the kids with mothers who care more about ther bfs then thier kids
 
RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 7, 2013 at 4:16 pm
I was just kidding. I love ur poem
 
AmyLeigh This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 30, 2013 at 1:22 pm
Yeah, I totally did not even thnk that it was about a mother until that last line, you might want to change your word choice because words like "passion" and "cupid" all point toward a romatnic love instead of fmilial. There are also some minor grammatical errors (like apostrophes) and spelling errors. The structure of the poem is a little confusing as well, and you might want to think about separating some of the phrases onto different lines. Otherwise, the overall tone of t... (more »)
 
Lawless-FlameRose replied...
Jan. 31, 2013 at 7:59 am
lol it was supposed to be confusing thats the point of the song and thx for the that and btw thats why i named it lost in the moment
 
Sparkle1popsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 16, 2013 at 9:26 pm
I totally thought that was about a guy until the last line, that makes it so interesting. I found myself even reading itathird time! A few spelling mistakes, and also make sure you capitalize you "i" when you are refering to yourself. 
 
XweienX said...
Jan. 15, 2013 at 9:49 am
Wow! Anyone out there who DIDN'T think this was for a lover? Anyway, the poem is great overall, good rhyming.
What I would suggest is to seperate the poems line by line, and also I believe there is a minor spelling mistake in the last stanza.

But still, a great poem! Keep up the good work!
 
Lawless-FlameRose replied...
Jan. 15, 2013 at 10:08 am
wow your good and thanks about the mistake i didnt notice it for some rason.
 
XweienX replied...
Jan. 16, 2013 at 6:22 am
You're welcome, do leave another message on my forum post when you have a new poem. :)
 
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