Lost in the Moment

Im lost in the moment, forgetting all your torment, can`t control my movements, im leaving you with cupid, loves a waste of time, its stupid.

all love is lost, you were to much like a boss, no care in the world, only money you could toss, i showed you passion, i showed you love, and you repayed me with a hateful shove, i wont say i hate you, i will never try to hurt you, but all hope is lost as im, lost in the moment.

Im lost in the moment, forgetting all your torment, can`t control my movements, im leaving you with cupid, loves a waste of time, its stupid.

I feel like im drugged, only by your love, now that im finished, you can say your done, i only waqnt you to love me, like i love you mum.





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This article has 9 comments. Post your own now!

RarelyJaded This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 5, 2013 at 6:27 pm
Umm... This sounds like a conflicted relationship... Good rhythm though
 
Lawless-FlameRose replied...
Feb. 6, 2013 at 1:24 pm
not just about me its about all the kids with mothers who care more about ther bfs then thier kids
 
RarelyJaded This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 7, 2013 at 4:16 pm
I was just kidding. I love ur poem
 
AmyLeigh This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 30, 2013 at 1:22 pm
Yeah, I totally did not even thnk that it was about a mother until that last line, you might want to change your word choice because words like "passion" and "cupid" all point toward a romatnic love instead of fmilial. There are also some minor grammatical errors (like apostrophes) and spelling errors. The structure of the poem is a little confusing as well, and you might want to think about separating some of the phrases onto different lines. Otherwise, the overall tone of t... (more »)
 
Lawless-FlameRose replied...
Jan. 31, 2013 at 7:59 am
lol it was supposed to be confusing thats the point of the song and thx for the that and btw thats why i named it lost in the moment
 
Sparkle1pops This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 16, 2013 at 9:26 pm
I totally thought that was about a guy until the last line, that makes it so interesting. I found myself even reading itathird time! A few spelling mistakes, and also make sure you capitalize you "i" when you are refering to yourself. 
 
XweienX said...
Jan. 15, 2013 at 9:49 am
Wow! Anyone out there who DIDN'T think this was for a lover? Anyway, the poem is great overall, good rhyming.
What I would suggest is to seperate the poems line by line, and also I believe there is a minor spelling mistake in the last stanza.

But still, a great poem! Keep up the good work!
 
Lawless-FlameRose replied...
Jan. 15, 2013 at 10:08 am
wow your good and thanks about the mistake i didnt notice it for some rason.
 
XweienX replied...
Jan. 16, 2013 at 6:22 am
You're welcome, do leave another message on my forum post when you have a new poem. :)
 
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