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The Pain of Memory

By , Arvada, CO
Dark are the pits,
Where all of humanity sits,
Their own filthy lies,
That catch them by surprise,
Spews out from under their eyes,
They shall meet their very own demise,
the darker the pits the darker the pain,
the brighter the day and the fall of the rain,
so many times that Ive gone insane,
let me show you what its like in my shoes,
tell you the story of a life I didn't choose,
It started in early elementary,
just after the turn of the century,
I was the only third grade outcast,
the abused kid that you always passed,
who every other day had a new cast,
I had no friends and no family,
It was a hell only I could see,
One day I felt eyes on the back of me,
It was a girl by the name of Maddy,
she was raped and abused by her dad,
her mother had died, the only love she ever had,
I had found my only friend in a world gone mad,
all our classes were the same, we were always together,
crying on each others shoulder in stormy weather,
the nights we sat outside in the rain,
afraid to go home because of the pain,
how we huddled together in private misery,
hanging on to life by a thread to thin to see,
our teachers would look at us as filthy slime,
hating everything they see, the abuse over time,
but they don't feel the pain that we felt inside,
they only see the broken body, not the tears that we've cried,
Maddy was my only friend for the next two years,
the only shoulder that could understand my tears,
we stood together through even our worst fears,
we were the only two on the same road to hell,
consumed by the pain we knew so well,
we were so close that my story is hers to tell,
a new teacher of ours saw the tears we shed,
one night in the rain, my nose broken and freshly bled,
she took our hand, gave us clothes and a bed,
a place to stay before we went to foster care,
our teacher understood we were a perfect pair,
she tried to find a home that we could share,
a place where we wouldn't have to be apart,
two weeks later i was alone, broken in heart,
Maddy had left my life, my tears where shed alone,
there was no one who loved me in a world as cold as stone,
soon I was addicted to drugs, the only way to numb my pain,
I lost the only person I had ever loved, i was falling like rain.


place after place and I never found any love,
I had nothing left to lose, no reason to look above,
i took to the streets, looking for family,
cold and hungry, a family of ninjas found me,
they had my back, gave me a place to live,
even though I told them I had nothing left to give,
they showed me so much love and loyalty,
my brothers and sister were always there for me,
ready to swing their hatchets if it had to be,
we shed so many tears, together we were free,
at long last I found a nine ninja family,
who could understand the pain of a memory,
and the love of a perfect chemistry,
always spreading the ways of our ninja ministry,
eight months with my family, the only place i belong,
i thought we would be forever, but in the end I was wrong,
my brother shadow took six bullets, two to the head,
i held my brother long after he was dead,
cradling his body to my chest, pain in every tear that I shed,
Angel committed suicide, her last reason to live had just died,
my family was falling apart, there were so many times that we cried,
our lives were so f**ked up that we were lost inside,
condemned to live a life of pain, it was all we knew,
but at least we were family, always ready to be true,
dreamcatcher caught a blade through her chest,
and even though I tried and gave it my best,
she laid down and began her eternal rest,
my family split apart, broken on so long of a quest,
our pain was so deep there was no more water to test,
there was nothing worse, no way we could get more depressed,
sorrow was on our tongue, dripping in every jest,
for the love that we had we knew we were blessed,
but everything was stretched and so stressed,
I passed my limits for pain, I was over my crest,
dieing and almost dead i came across the best,
My first friend came back to me,
the girl that I used to know by the name of Maddy,
I saw her walking through a dark ally,
I followed her in time to see her get jumped,
five of the mother f**kers that i slumped,
Maddy's story wasn't that different from mine,
she found a family of ninjas that was just fine,
until they became addicted to coke, line after line,
they died one by one, until she was the last of nine,
she had no one left to love her but me,
and I had no on left to love but Maddy,
we started on the same road together,
already lost to the rain of bad weather,
we were taken apart, our two souls so broken,
in time our hearts found love, were re-awoken,
the love of our ninjas, the love of family,
the pain caused by the love of a memory,
Maddy and I shed tears of chemistry,
once more together in perfect harmony.


Maddy and I were both fifteen,
haunted by the things we had felt and seen,
I slept by her side, I was her king and she was my queen,
she was there to defend me when I almost died,
the night i was stabbed i saw the tears she cried,
she held my head afraid she was going to lose me,
the only person left in her family,
everyone else was now just a memory,
of a time when everything went perfectly,
now it was just the two of us together again,
family even through everything we had been,
we decided to have a child, a kid of our own,
our deepest passions were shared, all was known,
there was nothing left for us to condone,
nine months later our daughter came to be,
the newest edition of our family,
taking the pain from so many memories,
Maddy and I were in total harmony,
but how many times can you repeat history,
is the death of love really a mystery,
I remember holding the dead body of my love,
the way I prayed to my family above,
hoping for a message on the wings of a dove,
because I was lost in my entirety,
a ninja with no more family,
I went insane, the psychopathic kind of crazy,
I was lost in a world so f**ked up and hazy,
all alone in my own misery,
writing down my pain just to keep myself busy,
I can understand the pain of a memory,
that's why I'm here for the rest of my family.





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