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My dead dad's notebook

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So, dear dad, I found your notebook today,
I Saw all the things that you never could say,
I read about a sliver that your pa left,
And felt a tear journey onto my neck,
I noticed the same questions I've pondered,
And regognized the names of streets I've wandered,
This is getting to be too much,
So I end up putting down the book and grabbing some lunch,
Words flow through the sails of this large ship,
and im attached to your scribbled beautiful penmanship,
So I put down the sandwich, the coffee, the grub,
And I find a new sore nerve to rub,
Digging through the flesh, looking for a sliver,
Your ignorance is still owned by god, the giver,
I can tell you had faith unmatchable to most,
But can't understand why you would be the host of it,
As I read more the trembling starts again,
And I'm holding back the tears that I must defend,
Seems small to most but to me it means the world,
Your letter "g" and mine have the same exact curl,
A connection with the treasure I hold dear to my heart,
Re-reading backwards from the end to the start,
At first glance it's just the story that I lived,
Everyday struggling as a very young kid,
But then I remember things that were lost before,
And I'm tempted to run, away, away from this door.
My body gives my emotions ultimate defiance,
But the day will soon come when they form an alliance,
Im scared and afraid, i really don't want to go on,
But these words sing to my soul like a long lost song,


On and on I'm listening to you,
Through the ink you passed on so I could know the truth,
On and on I'm listening to you,
I'm afraid of myself because these emotions aren't new,
On and on I'm listening to you,
Memories of when my life stopped that one afternoon,
On and on I'm listening to you,
I'll keep reading until my sadness is through and through





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