What's Wrong?

February 13, 2012
By Special-Ice-Apples GOLD, Pinedale, Arizona
Special-Ice-Apples GOLD, Pinedale, Arizona
15 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Love is just a word until someone special comes along and gives it a meaning."

"I love walking in the rain, 'cause then no one can tell I'm crying."

"Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain."


Why are you so distant?
Sometimes it's like you aren't even here
I'll say something with good intent
You give me a piercing glare
Oh why won't you tell me what's wrong?
Don't care if your explanations short or long
I just want something to hold on to
I want to know what's going on
So baby I'll be singing this song
Over and over again
Until you tell me.....
What's Wrong


The author's comments:
I know it's short, but it was on my mind when I was arguing with a friend of mine.

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This article has 4 comments.


on Apr. 24 2012 at 1:44 pm
Eshshah PLATINUM, Galloway, New Jersey
32 articles 31 photos 239 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep." -Robert Frost

I love the title- it fits so well with the piece, and catches your eye. The poem itself is raw and well crafted. the sentences seem a little broken up, but I think that's because of TI's formatting. It's a little short for a song, but I can totally see it as a first verse/ chorus thing... overall- 5 stars.

Clg1688 said...
on Apr. 6 2012 at 3:07 pm
Clg1688, Tucson, Arizona
0 articles 0 photos 10 comments

I like this!

I can relate to it actually. 

This sense of frustration is what I'm getting from the poem.

:)


on Mar. 15 2012 at 6:44 pm
ShyWriting42 BRONZE, Mesquite, Texas
3 articles 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure...We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God."

I think you did a good job with this poem. On a level, I could almost see what was going on. That said, I think it you would have been able to make an amazing connection if was just a little longer and was more descriptive. Still, I liked this. 

on Mar. 5 2012 at 5:37 pm
Reignbow.Rebel BRONZE, DeWitt, Michigan
2 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
"MY DOLLY IS GOING TO DIE!!!!"~Alex Sawyer

This was amazing! Thpugh you should lengthn it! I wish I could here it in real life! Good job! :D


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