"Consider This A Thank You"

January 11, 2012
By ThePureLight7 BRONZE, Dayton, Ohio
ThePureLight7 BRONZE, Dayton, Ohio
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
\"I have found the ultimate paradox. If you love until it hurts, then there can be no more hurt.\" - Mother Freakin\' Theresa


I don’t want to sound clichéd here
But I don’t want this to come out wrong now
There is something in your eyes, Girl
And I want to make it mine
The stars, oh, how they shine

I don’t want to sound too sappy
I don’t want to sound so darn depressed
But there is something here between us
That I just can’t live without
It tosses me around

Please don’t take this the wrong way
But those other songs on your radio
They weren’t meant for you
The way this one was

Just like teardrops in August
Mopped up by friendships from June
If you cry out my name
I’ll sing this hopeful tune
Even if I’m not there
When you’re up in your room
You can fade away with headphones in
And know this song’s for you
And you alone

I don’t want to sound too literal
But I don’t think I can work a metaphor here
Because there’s something in this beauty
That my wordplay can’t describe
No matter how hard I try

I don’t want to sound too indie
But I don’t want to sound over-produced
It’s a balance game I’m playing
A crooked path through all my doubts
Until this gets to you somehow

Please don’t take this the wrong way
But those other songs on your radio
They weren’t meant for you
The way this one was

Just like teardrops in August
Mopped up by friendships from June
If you cry out my name
I’ll sing this hopeful tune
Even if I’m not there
When you’re up in your room
You can fade away with headphones in
And know this song’s for you
And you alone

I don’t want to sound clichéd here
Well, I guess I managed to mess that one up

Just like teardrops in August
Mopped up by friendships from June
If you cry out my name
I’ll sing this hopeful tune
Even if I’m not there
When you’re up in your room
You can fade away with headphones in
And know this song’s for you

As we sing and we dance
The air smells of perfume
I will sing you these words
We will summon the tune
It’s my soft tone that lets you know
That these words are true
And I hope you keep those headphones in
And know this song’s for you
And you alone

The author's comments:
Excerpt from my creative writing class portfolio:

"Is there any scene more typical of high school romanticism than the image of a lone teenage boy lying in his bed, unable to sleep due to the cute songs and memories of bright smiles running through his head? No. There is not. It was just such a scene that prompted me to write this piece.

It was about 1:00 a.m. when I was rolling under my covers with the urge to write a song. “Hearts” by Alex Day had been stuck in my head for about an hour, which, in case you don’t know, happens to be an adorable little ditty about a normal crush. That was what I felt my life was at that point – some sort of cutesy high school romantic comedy. Despite all that, I still felt that there was a part of me which knew there was something more than the cliché.

Before I knew it, I was hopped up in my futon with my laptop open in front of me, typing up those first two lines. I don’t want to sound clichéd here, but I don’t want this to come out wrong now. It was one of the easiest and cleanest writings that I had done, because I knew almost exactly what I wanted to say before I even began to put it to paper word processor. When I was finished, I took ten seconds of silence, and then added the title. My title is the favorite part of this poem as far as my writing goes. It shows that while this is a love song, it is also a song that acts as a thank you to a close friend who was, and still is, always there.

I wanted to use words that I felt properly conveyed the emotions I was feeling at that moment, so most of the editing was minimal the next morning. I removed some of the awkward phrasing (bouncing multiple times from “damn” to “darn” and back again, changing some instances of “your” to “this,” etc.) and edited some of the lines for emotional benefit (I changed most of the second verse in a later draft). I received some heart feedback, which confirmed that the emotions came out the right way, from my peers in creative writing class, such as Ms. Wright, Micaela, and – cough, cough – the person about whom it was written in the first place (Apparently Josh is calling her “Norma” now).

I feel that this piece was a real risk for me, for multiple reasons. The first reason is that prior to this class, I usually stuck to prose as opposed to poetry. This was the first step to writing poetry, which led to some of my later pieces such as “Trotting Down the Line” and “Liquid Pocketwatch.” Another reason that this felt like such a risk was that it was a more emotional piece, which I let leak to those outside my close circle of friends. I even showed the person for whom it was written. Sure, I didn’t tell her it was about her, but I’m fairly certain she had some clue. Your first baby steps are important in regards to such risks. This finally culminated in me submitting this piece to the STEM literary and art magazine, the Outlet.
Finally, I feel that this piece was a great representation of my voice, as the entire poem felt more like a personal monologue than anything I had ever written. If I were to speak directly to the person about whom it was written, this is what I would say, which I felt as a sign of success in writing. The poem was told from a first-person perspective, with a strong emotional tone. It was something which I wanted to write, as opposed to something I felt I was forced to write. This helped me break out and start to write more emotional pieces later on in the class, such as “Liquid Pocketwatch.”"

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