Let’s play tug of war
We’ll play till one hits the floor
Here’s team 1 and there’s team 2
And for the rope, we’ll use you

Why use me as the rope?
Is this some kind of joke?
If it is, it really sucks
You couldn’t pay me over 9000 bucks

But don’t you want to be in the game
You don’t want to be called lame
Besides you’re really sturdy
So there’s no need to worry

Let us pull you to and fro
We’ll see how long you can go
Here’s a string for your waist
Make sure to don it in haste

Why must I don it so fast?
So you can determine 1st and last?
Fine! Pull me left and pull me right
But I’ll soon be out of sight

Awe, can’t we jerk you around
Until one team falls to the ground
And then we’ll let you go home
Where you can finally be alone