"Humbly Beautiful"

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When you find out my unsure ways,
What would you say?
Would you rather have her-
Her who knows she's pretty,
and shows it with too much dignity?
Or me who's shy at first,
and needs a little work
to get to know.
Who would you choose?
A girl like you,
Or one to show?

Doesn't she disgust you?
She who takes her looks to her advantage,
and scowls when you talk to her.
I know you're sweet and kind.
Though I hope you have the right state of mind
to know, you need a girl like you
Who's beautiful and true.

When you find out my unsure ways,
What would you say?
Would you rather have her-
Her who knows she's pretty,
and shows it with too much dignity?

No.
I'll hold my head up high,
and cover up all my sighs.
Love's not a game.
Though she's trying for fame,
There's no winner.
And that's where she'll give in.
She's only good for pretend.

I know you're sweet and kind.
Though I hope you have the right state of mind
to know, you need a girl like you.
Who's beautiful and true.





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This article has 6 comments. Post your own now!

RandomPoet said...
Jan. 19, 2013 at 7:26 pm
Hmmm let me see what should i say about this piece of work here.... It was amazing. A well written piece. I enjoyed. I read it more than once thinking about all these guys i know. Ok thats a different story for a different time. Its is one of my favorite ones i read so far on teenink. Have to agree with love.hate.passion on those two lines other than that it was really good.  
 
Indiewriter This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 19, 2013 at 8:54 pm
Thank you so much.(:  And yes I wish you could edit poems on teenink... there's always at least that one mistake that will just haunt you every time you read it! haha And about the guys? Ha... yea I've learned to have low expectations until I get older... but that's yet another story for perhaps another poem.(: Thank you, --indiewriter<3
 
Black_Rose_Princess said...
Aug. 25, 2012 at 1:41 am
This is very well-written and truly a creative idea. I have come to realize that your poems are not only powerfully written, but they have a powerful message hidden within them and I love them! Although one thing did stick out to me, in some lines you use the word "her", when "she" would sound better in its place.
 
Indiewriter This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 25, 2012 at 5:38 pm
Thank you that means so much to me!!(: Yes, I agree, someone else pointed that out to me too. It's why I like teenink... I can post the rough drafts of my poems and get feedback to continue to improve them(: Thanks again!!(:
 
Love.Hate.Passion. said...
Aug. 7, 2011 at 11:50 pm
I absolutely love the concept of the two girls and their differences. I would suggest that you change the " Her" in lines 4 and 22 to "She" , to make it flow more smoothly. The last two stanza's in the first part of the poem are sort of confusing , but your poem is thoroughly relatable. I love the way you described everything ,you have a beautiful poem :)
 
Indiewriter This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 8, 2011 at 12:50 am
Thanks for all your feedback! Which part is confusing? That's one thing I always wonder though- wether anyone else understands my poems like I do because if someone were to ask me what something meant I would be able to explain any part of the poem. But I don't want to have to, and want them to understand it in the begining.
 
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