Love Lost

April 9, 2011
By CarlyPierre DIAMOND, Stamford, Connecticut
CarlyPierre DIAMOND, Stamford, Connecticut
59 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"Success is what you make it, Take it how it comes"!


Let me tell you a story about the times I fell in love
Complacently with attention from females
(All the above)

First there was my sweetheart
That I am still friends with today
But somehow I just wished that
We could forget the past
And things be a different way

She and I met through friends
We’ve fought many times
Since we’ve been intimate
Although we always make amends

She’s kind of a flirt
I tell myself all the time I’m over her
But at times she still has me hurt
When she tells me lies
Or shows affection to other guys

Our communication has gotten weak
Even though our bond is strong
Every relationship is unique
And ours has been like this for quite long

The love we had was a river
With emotions that rose a tide
Both of us have been so stubborn
That we couldn’t let go of our pride
So the tide became a flood in due time
Breaking the dam that protected our love
Washing our connection away

Then there was my fling
With a girl naïve as I
We don’t talk anymore
About anything
This leaves me wondering “why”

We hit it off at first
Spending time a lot
But I hadn’t prepared
For the worst
So suddenly I watched
Our relationship decay
Because we didn’t see
Eye to eye
I looked over her head
With my knowledge
All she could do was try
To keep up
However it wasn’t enough



It feels like ICE between us
A glacier of resent and hurt
Frozen icicles of lust
That will bust a man’s skull
As it did our trust



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This article has 2 comments.


on May. 9 2011 at 8:25 pm
SilverDropsofLife BRONZE, Mt. Holly Springs, Pennsylvania
3 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Not bad, not bad.  The lines were a bit rough because you were trying so hard to rhyme.  Remember:  sometimes in order to get a point across, rhyming isn't always necessary.  I think this poem could have a lot of potential if you dropped the rhyming and just wrote it in free verse.  Because the rhyming was incredibly distracting.

But whatever you decide, it's your piece.  Always keep writing.  :)


on May. 9 2011 at 4:53 pm
BridgetND BRONZE, Warsaw, Indiana
3 articles 0 photos 17 comments
that was really good. amazing job 


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