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Smolder

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A child’s teeth
Like the special china guiltily shattered on the kitchen floor
Snapping ribs
Louder than imagination
He’s had enough
And let him go.
The deadly dance thought would end
But the drumbeats were so loud
And he was so different.
We swore to ourselves
As if suddenly we’d be real again
If we rested on crippled promise.
Lies to say the devil didn’t call
Knocks on the window
Drumbeats
Like a lover waits
He forgives so much blood.
Smoldering
I felt him break
And Judge, you know, it tasted sweet
Heartbeats
Like the ice cream I used to steal
Numb in the special china.



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JoPepper said...
Apr. 8, 2012 at 12:11 pm
Like Simply Ciara said you put alot of thought into your writing, and its really good!!! Keep writing!!!
 
Simply Ciara said...
Apr. 7, 2012 at 12:28 pm
This piece is very powerful but I really like reading your pieces they are very well written. I do have one question though, how do you become a VIP? (I'm rather new on this website)
 
Kiyoko This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 8, 2012 at 1:09 am
I don't actually know! I'm sorry. It just happened, on mine. Maybe if you get a certain number of comments/ratings/articles posted? Sorry I can't be of more help!
 
Desee said...
Nov. 15, 2011 at 10:05 am
 wow.. this is so much better than what i can write. you are very strongly punctual and imagery is perfect.
 
Boosflash This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 22, 2011 at 6:52 pm
tres bon captain. this is freakin awesome. i think i understand it. i like the beggining and how it goes with the end.i like how the poem is written like you're rambling on, like for instance where you said "he's had enogh and let him go."i love that line. it would be conducive for you to do your dance at the time which is now.
 
Kiyoko This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
May 24, 2011 at 11:57 pm

Thanks, friend! :) I noticed you commented on a bunch of my stuff, so i'm just going to sum it all up in this one comment, if that's okay with you! Thank you for your comments, they're REALLY appreciated! it's nice to know what works especially well and what isn't as memorable. I haven't put anything up real recently, because I wanted to know what people thought of the stuff I had already posted, so thanks for the feedback! Feel free to give criticism, as well! :)

ps. I did do a little... (more »)

 
wordbeater replied...
Apr. 7, 2012 at 9:41 am
Really really enjoyed reading this! Your word choice is epic. :)
 
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