Smolder

January 9, 2011
By Kiyoko GOLD, Knoxville, Tennessee
Kiyoko GOLD, Knoxville, Tennessee
10 articles 0 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
Independence is my happiness, I view things as they are without regard to place or person. My country is the world, and my religion is to do good. - Thomas Paine


A child’s teeth
Like the special china guiltily shattered on the kitchen floor
Snapping ribs
Louder than imagination
He’s had enough
And let him go.
The deadly dance thought would end
But the drumbeats were so loud
And he was so different.
We swore to ourselves
As if suddenly we’d be real again
If we rested on crippled promise.
Lies to say the devil didn’t call
Knocks on the window
Drumbeats
Like a lover waits
He forgives so much blood.
Smoldering
I felt him break
And Judge, you know, it tasted sweet
Heartbeats
Like the ice cream I used to steal
Numb in the special china.


The author's comments:
This was really hard to write. I wrote it from a prompt given to me by the creative writing club that I'm in based on bullying, but Take away what you want from it.

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This article has 7 comments.


on Apr. 8 2012 at 12:11 pm
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
35 articles 0 photos 782 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Freedom is the ability to not care what the other person thinks."

"Not all those who wander are lost" --JRR Tolkien

"When you are listening to music it is better to cover your eyes than your ears." --Jose' Bergamin

Like Simply Ciara said you put alot of thought into your writing, and its really good!!! Keep writing!!!

Kiyoko GOLD said...
on Apr. 8 2012 at 1:09 am
Kiyoko GOLD, Knoxville, Tennessee
10 articles 0 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
Independence is my happiness, I view things as they are without regard to place or person. My country is the world, and my religion is to do good. - Thomas Paine

I don't actually know! I'm sorry. It just happened, on mine. Maybe if you get a certain number of comments/ratings/articles posted? Sorry I can't be of more help!

on Apr. 7 2012 at 12:28 pm
Simply_Ciara GOLD, Hopkinsville, Kentucky
11 articles 0 photos 11 comments
This piece is very powerful but I really like reading your pieces they are very well written. I do have one question though, how do you become a VIP? (I'm rather new on this website)

on Apr. 7 2012 at 9:41 am
wordbeater SILVER, Sharpsburg, Georgia
6 articles 0 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
Truth is beauty and beauty truth, that is all ye know on earth and all ye need to know.

Keats

Really really enjoyed reading this! Your word choice is epic. :)

Desee GOLD said...
on Nov. 15 2011 at 10:05 am
Desee GOLD, Lenior City, Tennessee
14 articles 1 photo 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
If the sky were to suddenly open up, there would be no law, there would be no rule. There would only be you and your memories. - donnie darko, 2001

 wow.. this is so much better than what i can write. you are very strongly punctual and imagery is perfect.

Kiyoko GOLD said...
on May. 24 2011 at 11:57 pm
Kiyoko GOLD, Knoxville, Tennessee
10 articles 0 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
Independence is my happiness, I view things as they are without regard to place or person. My country is the world, and my religion is to do good. - Thomas Paine

Thanks, friend! :) I noticed you commented on a bunch of my stuff, so i'm just going to sum it all up in this one comment, if that's okay with you! Thank you for your comments, they're REALLY appreciated! it's nice to know what works especially well and what isn't as memorable. I haven't put anything up real recently, because I wanted to know what people thought of the stuff I had already posted, so thanks for the feedback! Feel free to give criticism, as well! :)

ps. I did do a little dance of celebration, by the way.


on May. 22 2011 at 6:52 pm
Boosflash DIAMOND, Jacksonville, Florida
54 articles 0 photos 2066 comments

Favorite Quote:
Get, Got, Gotten.

tres bon captain. this is freakin awesome. i think i understand it. i like the beggining and how it goes with the end.i like how the poem is written like you're rambling on, like for instance where you said "he's had enogh and let him go."i love that line. it would be conducive for you to do your dance at the time which is now.




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