I sit here crying smoking my cancer
Drifting through life like a Mitsubishi lancer
I chose ecstasy over my family my friends even myself
I didnt pay attention to my soul crying for help
Quit school just to get high
Didnt care let my life pass me by
Living a lie everyday i wanted to cry
Taking these drugs made me go blind
Now its time to decide whats it going to be
Do I restart and build back up or do I keep doing that e
I hope you all see I made a mistake
Staring myself down in the reflection from the lake of all the bad I have done
In the beginning it was all about having fun
Making money selling partying every day
I take all the blame
I write this and share it with you full of shame
I got too deep into the game and now I am trying to get out
Keeping loved ones close and making the right choices now thats what its all about
Without a doubt in my mind
This life of mine I gotta create a new design
Get back up on my feet
My future looked bleak wen I was on that e grinding my teeth
My words and promises aren't cheap
And if i lie to you may my life be taken by the reaper
I will change i give u my word
This confession of mine is like nothing you have ever heard
Its a new day heart singing in the morning like a bird
My lesson I have learned
Its time to start a new journey
First step is to ask for forgiveness
The pain I brought on all of you is serious business
That I have to repair
In order to explain the reason with u this I share
I want you to know that I truly care even though I didnt show it
I know what I did was wrong
I need support to do this I hope you decide to come along
Dear momma dont cry I am doing better than before
I'm healing myself all the way down deep to my core
This is my confession
I have learned my lesson
Life is a blessing
I need to treat it like one
And I hope wen its all said and done
I can walk tall and be proud
Soaring up in the clouds
Hopefully this dream will come true
Take it from me this should be important to you
Its not what happens to you its how it affects others
I beat down on the people that were like my sisters and brothers
I told her I loved her but that wasnt enough
Dealing with this on my own was pretty tough stuff
Life was rough but I deserved it
I loaded the gun with a full clip
Put the tip to my head
Just so that I could stare death in the face
The things i have done in the past few months leave a trail of disgrace
Look at me with distaste judge me if you want maybe its wat i deserve
I didnt do well wen life threw me a curve
You gotta remain true to yourself this i have learned
I have stood in the shadows but now its my turn
I am going to step up to the plate
I am taking control of my own fate
In life there are no retakes
None of this is fake
What you do you can never take back
Respect for life is what I lacked
I need you please to get my life back on track
I am willing to change thats a fact
Theres no time to relax
Suit up get packed
Here I come
Coming at you like no other