Dear Vanessa...

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I first saw you at the place of voices never heard
Where pain was the word
where love was just a word
you were there but you weren't really there
you had so much to tell but you wouldn't tell
you thought to yourself who would care

i remember the first time i spoke to you
you looked at me i looked at you
from then on nothing would ever be the same
its amazing how the most beautiful of things
can begin with a simple exchange of names

we laughed, we smiled, we even cried
my heart knocked gentily on yours
it opened wide, you let my heart inside
you let my heart inside


then when late october finally rolled around
you stopped talking, you wouldn't make a sound
i touched your hand,
i asked you what was wrong
you asked me, what will i do when your not around
i hugged you and you hugged me
i heard your sobs as you cried softly
and i never thought that, that would be
the last time i would see you
that you would see me

weeks past when my mother told me
that you had died from suicide
and my mother tried to embrace me
but i rushed into my room
i buried my head into my pillow
and i cried and cried
i let denial rush into my head
and for awhile you weren't dead
but eventually unintentionally
my mind embraced my heart's reality

from the world you knew, you are free
but you will never be free
you can't escape the prison that beats in me
you better know that there you'll always be
in my heart you'll always be





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