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Spin with me This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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Spin and spin, hit me again.
The stars are fireflies,
I'm lost chasing them in your eyes.
Punch me, punch me.

The crash of the cymbals
The symphonic sounds
The timpani roll
Spin me 'round

Our bare feet pound the dirt.
Twirl with me, swirl with me
Spin and spin, hit me again.

Spin me, twist me
Tell me you love me
The trees whisper their shame
They don't know a thing.
I won't quit this game.

The crash of the cymbals
The symphonic sounds
The timpani roll
Stop.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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This article has 20 comments. Post your own!

keshialovesmusic said...
May 13 at 3:37 pm:
dont understand song  
 
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beautifulspirit This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 23, 2013 at 11:15 am:
It's a cool song, has a good rhythm
 
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magickMuse said...
Dec. 22, 2011 at 3:33 pm:
i really like this piece. wish there was more lyrics, and I really want to read more of your work:)
 
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Shortblueeyes224 said...
May 26, 2011 at 11:56 am:
I really love this piece you've written. :)
 
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LoveMeFoever said...
Mar. 18, 2011 at 2:52 pm:
I Love It. In My Head It Sound Perfect. I Love It. Truely Do. The Ending Is Amazing. (:
 
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SpringRayynThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Oct. 13, 2010 at 10:45 pm:
I like the use of the word "symphonic!" C: but the ending seems a bit off to me.
 
Mopsicle This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 14, 2010 at 9:41 pm :

Yeah... I was going for something sudden. Any suggestion on how I could change it?

It is off, and honestly this is not my favorite poem out of the ones I've posted, but most people seem to like it.

 
SpringRayynThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Oct. 15, 2010 at 7:27 pm :
Well is she on a merry-go-round thing like on the picture? maybe you could make her fall off and get bruised or something and relate that to how love can hurt or something?
 
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baby_girla said...
Aug. 7, 2010 at 9:47 pm:
this is a great song I wish there was more because I love the way it sounded when I started to sing it and I sung it alot for you. thank you and you should write more songs because you are real awesome and that I love this one
 
Mopsicle This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 14, 2010 at 9:40 pm :
Thank you so much :)
 
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DarkTruth said...
Aug. 5, 2010 at 8:16 pm:
really wish ther were more lyrics 
 
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Mr.Mills said...
Aug. 3, 2010 at 8:13 am:
hey great lyrics it was a real great song must have took a lot of thought.
 
Mopsicle This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 3, 2010 at 10:54 am :
Thank you!
 
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Christa W. said...
Jul. 10, 2010 at 3:34 pm:
Awesome work!!!
 
Mopsicle This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 12, 2010 at 12:41 pm :
Thank you!
 
MusicalImpressions replied...
Jul. 12, 2010 at 4:23 pm :
your welcome!
 
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Louis This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 2, 2010 at 3:10 am:
Hi! Very nice poem, I really appreciated reading it! I love the way you illustrated the feelings of bedazzlement, confusion, and thrill... Congratulations for getting published in the print magazine too! When is it coming out? My piece 'Cigarettes' will also get published in that edition! Can't wait for us to see it! Again, bravo!
 
Mopsicle This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 5, 2010 at 8:49 am :
Thanks! I'm so excited that it's getting published, this was honestly unexpected. I'm not sure when it's coming out but I'll see if I can find out
 
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aspiring.author.09 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 22, 2010 at 10:50 pm:
I don't think you should change anything. It was just the right length - any shorter and I may not have gotten as clear of an image. The senses portrayed were vivid. I personally love when people end their poems with 'stop' when it fits, and it did fit in your case. Nicely done.
 
Mopsicle This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 23, 2010 at 4:47 pm :
Thank you =)
 
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