10 seconds of courage

I wake up wishing they could understand
Hoping love would give a second chance
Bound and chained by my fears within
Captured by unholy sins
Flames awaken unspoken words
Spreading the wings of flightless birds
Taking chances to brighten the night
Lighting up places where no one does right
I fight with myself to stay in control
But I decrease in strength as I take in all blows
Lying awake, unable to sleep
I contemplate if I should give into defeat
Knowing if I do I will never be the same
For the things I had done were not for the fame
Conscious of the cost for my unrighteous acts
I defend myself from all the attacks
The attacks on love and the attacks on my faith
Taking away the places where I had once felt safe
Wishing my pain could be washed by the sea
Hoping one day I could be set at ease
Resting and buried deep in the ground
Where I am no longer bothered
Where I cannot be found
I find my peace with the drift of the wind
I find my sleep along with the wounds unable to mend
Knowing what happened wasn’t what I had in mind
For I had surrendered to the loss of time
Hoping and praying you would someday understand
I was not meant to live where my freedom could not stand
Now that I’m free I can do as I choose
And though hardships may come I will no longer lose
10 seconds of courage was all that I had
And I chose to take it
With determination to make it
And believe that the hard times will soon come to pass






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