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Kiss me with those soft lips
Caress my face with your finger tips
Let me look into those deep brown eyes
I wish to God they weren't saying good bye
I know you want to protect us and our rights
But can't you stay for just one more night
Aren't we perfect just like this?
Please just give me one more kiss
Before you leave on your flight
Please just give us one more night
Promise you wont be gone for long
You say you'll come back
Don't be wrong
I need you here
In my arms
I need you near
You say I'm your good luck charm
If that is true
I'll come with you
Just kiss me with those big soft lips
Play with my hair between your finger tips
Look at me with those big brown eyes
God please let them stop saying good bye



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LiveToLove said...
Nov. 30, 2012 at 10:02 pm
Love it! It flows very well except for some parts where you changed your rythm. Try to keep your rythm steady or put it in a steady pattern... or switch at equal sections from one rythm to another.
 
TheUnwantedTRUTH said...
Nov. 28, 2012 at 1:21 pm
always love poems..... with girls..... no offence but to me its kinda stail i see it to much this is a honnest opinon so yeah stail thats how i describe it stail i heard it before
 
BlueSunset said...
Sept. 30, 2012 at 7:53 am
I enjoyed it very much. It's short and it's interesting. I liked it a lot, keep it up x
 
NHBound37 said...
Sept. 29, 2012 at 10:01 pm
I loooove it! It was absolutely beautiful! ^_^
 
Sergelinebrown said...
Sept. 23, 2012 at 9:00 am
I loveeeeeee
 
JustSauce said...
Sept. 21, 2012 at 10:38 pm
Great, only part that seemed clunky was "In my arms I need you near You say I'm your good luck charm"
 
bagley777 said...
Sept. 21, 2012 at 8:17 pm
I love it!(: The whole poem flows really well. It's really sweet too. 5/5 for sure!
 
Finnius said...
Sept. 21, 2012 at 5:22 pm
That was very, very good. Very rromantic, very deep. I give it 10/10. Keep up the good work.
 
Silver2blackThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 21, 2012 at 3:34 pm
Very romantic and religious, Good job! :)
 
StevenD. said...
Sept. 21, 2012 at 3:33 pm
I like it. It's a very good, interesting poem.
 
Ruby-Paige-Rose said...
Sept. 21, 2012 at 1:58 pm
Please comment constructive feedback. I would really apriciate it. And I'll do the same for your work as well:)
 
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