light vs dark

June 19, 2012
By AnaAaliyah BRONZE, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
AnaAaliyah BRONZE, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
3 articles 0 photos 0 comments

I dipped my foot in the water and watched the fish swim
but he took my hand and pulled me back he said the water would drag me in
A wave rose and it called out my name
he made me promises of fortune and fame
He told me I could have all the treasures of the sea
He told me everyone would know my name no longer would i be quiet little me
He told me to follow him and everything my heart desired would be mine
but he never ever mentioned i had to pay a fine
So i jumped into the water and the first thing i could see
Is pearls and other treasures waiting there for me
I reached for a pearl and held it for a second
then the waves piled on top of me I thrashed and I beckoned
It was trapping me
so i fought and struggled to get to the surface of the sea
I was alone, I was scared, it was cold, I was in pain
I got to the surface and I called out his name
I yelled loud hoping he would hear me
But I never had to yell he was always near me
The second I asked for help and forgiveness the waves let me go
then it all went black what happened after? I don't know
Then I woke up on the dock and he was healing me
I turned my head and looked over at the spacious sea
but now the water wasn't blue and clear like before
it was black and murky there was no life anymore
"Listen my child stay away from that dangerous water"
I looked up at him "I will never doubt you my father"


The author's comments:
This poem has a hidden meaning. The wave represents Satan and how he lies and tricks people into following him and his only purpose is to kill and destroy. Just like the wave in this poem Satan sugar coats death and makes false promises. It also shows how God always warns,protects, forgives, and helps you when you need it and even when you think your alone God is always there with you.

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This article has 3 comments.


on Jan. 22 2014 at 10:57 pm
cecchmate BRONZE, Menlo Park, California
3 articles 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in."
-Greek proverb

I thought your imagery and idea is really good, but I think without the explanation I wouldn't have known what exactly you were trying to get across. At first I thought you were talking about maybe a deceptive boyriend/romantic relationship, and I didn't originally think 'satan'. Maybe you could use more obvious/direct terminology to lead someone to believe that? I definitely got the 'Father'/'God' reference, of course - but switching from satan to God got me confused as well, that one phrase where you turn to him and he was there all along, I thought you meant that deceptive guy you were talking about, and then of course after I read the 'father' I figured you meant God. Anyways, I think this is really promising, but needs a bit of work on clarity and maybe sprucing up the rhythm here and there. But all in all, great work! :)

.king. SILVER said...
on Jan. 22 2014 at 1:49 am
.king. SILVER, Yeux Bien Tres Bien, Other
9 articles 4 photos 573 comments

Favorite Quote:
( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

I like the massge, and the way you compare satan to a deceptive wave is creative. The imaginary is wonderful, still I believe it lacks little punctuation and apparently 'He' is used for satan, God and father? A litte confusing, yet a Good read! Keep up the good work! ^_^

on Jan. 22 2014 at 12:49 am
MyAttempt BRONZE, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
1 article 0 photos 8 comments
YOU BETTA GO HEAD!




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