Psychotically Disturb

April 10, 2012
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I woke up empty minded
Woke up with a mind full of sorrows
I saw myself standing but no it was the late statue of a demolish creature
I search for my mind but I was totally disturb from a living nightmare
I eventually became blind
I then search for my soul but my mind immediately went to its own odyssey as I stared out my window, like a lost child in the depths of unknown
My body shimmers as if it was the last earth quake of this world
My mind departed from my head
My visions were buried in darkness
Seems so real, gosh it felt so truthful, in fact a genuine in existence
As for my heart it was torn into irreplaceable pieces many years ago
Its unexplainable, wait perhaps it was just a dream
Was it a vision? Or I’m I still in bed?
Just the feeling of my soul flying, but my feet were on the ground
There was a slender line between waking up and down grave
I couldn’t possibly make the difference between those two
Although there weren’t any
I look across the room but I saw a valley, an unknown desert like an area of land covered in wild grasses and flowers with no life along with dried trees, lots of hays, hungry birds, abandoned creatures lying beside such a worthless lake, waiting for my arrival
For a minute I thought I saw someone, a hero at last, the perfect angel at my rescue
But no it was just my shadow walking with me silently below
What was I thinking, angel at a rescue? That belief I just couldn’t pursue
Everything I saw was just a flawless dream except that I was living it
At an instant moment, I was left with nothing but anything, every part of my body were leaving me behind
I tried screaming but I had no voice
What’s the point it’s not like I had a choice
Maybe a sign of sight would lead me through
But I had no reason to see
My feet were soaring from this odyssey of an unpredictable life
I was drowning in my own tears with a single lack of breath to survive, I’d cried for help but there was no reason to be, no one can see me, no one can hear me
Gosh where am I?
I begin talking to myself, I laughed but still no joy
I even tried smiling but nothing changed the world
Like some weird psychos
I ran into darkness alone; in sunlight I just visualize its color but depression
The one and only that hurts so much
My head couldn’t take it anymore so I holler
I cried out my feelings I cried out my emotions
But the response was nothing but tons of echoes
I look forward into another shoulder to lean on but who am I to be considered
My existence was automatically the opposite of living
I’m becoming completely delusion by my own body, spirit, mind and soul
My only hope is prayer; my only hope is me, myself and I
But if this don’t get better things will of course become worse
That I can’t deny
They say I’m too beautiful but if only they knew
If only they knew that beyond this beauty, beyond this terrific smile lie untold stories with an endless mystery

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