I pick up a pen and hold it to my paper
I hear the words I love you
And they couldn’t be faker
I write down my thoughts
Feeling too shamed
To say them out loud
And hear the voice of my pain
From the first time it hurt
To the times I was numb
I fell to the dirt
And just watched the blood run
The feeling I felt
While I sat on the ground
Shut off my brain
And made my heart pound
I felt so at ease, so relaxed, and tranquil
A little piece of metal
Meant I need not to kill
It shut off the feelings, the emotions I had
The thoughts in my head
That made my heart sad
The world around me just stops for a while
Then I return
With a broken little smile
When the numbness is gone
And so is the pain
The color comes back
I feel my hands again