I Hate Books

July 17, 2011
Before I begin my tale,
Let me make one thing very clear,
I absolutely HATE to read!
I despise books, do you hear?

When I looked out of the window,
To check the weather today,
I expected clear sunny skies
So I could go out and play

But when I peeked out behind the curtains,
My disappointment I could hardly contain,
For what was pouring down by the bucketfuls?
Torrents and torrents and torrents of rain!

So when my mother came up to me
And told me instead to read a book,
I looked at her in horror,
And asked her if she was speaking gobbledygook.

She looked at me and laughed,
And with a hearty pat on the back,
She sent me up to my room to read,
Without even a measly snack!

So what else could I do?
But trudge up the stairs,
And settle down with a book,
On one of the comfy chairs.

I stared at the title with disgust,
“Moby Dick”?
Of all of the boring books in the world,
This was the one my mom had to pick?

But of course I had no other choice,
So I opened up the cover with a groan,
I began to read the first page,
And got ready to delve into the unknown.

But as I started to read,
The story of the young sailor lad,
(And the captain who was just plain mad!)
I began to think, “Hey! This isn’t half bad!”

So I kept on reading,
The fascinating work,
Until I reached the climax,
When I had gone quite berserk!

As the story started to unravel,
I admit it, I was in a trance,
And when old captain Ahab met the great white whale,
I almost peed in my pants!

But as the classic tale
Ended in blood and gore,
I was almost crying,
And could not deny it: I wanted more!

So I pulled out the next
Volume in my pack
And before I knew it,
I had finished the entire stack!

So I bravely ventured down,
To a place I had never set foot in before,
The library, oh, the good old library!
A place I had now come to adore.

I raced down the hallways,
Aisle after aisle,
Grabbing books to and fro,
But always with a smile.

I headed down to the checkout desk,
And took all of the books back home,
I even got a library card,
And on it was my name: Jerome!

Imagine my mother’s surprise,
When she saw me holed up in my room,
She took one look at me reading,
And with a clatter, dropped her broom.

“Jerome, are you reading a book?” she cried.
“Am I just dreaming?”
“My book-hating son is actually reading?”
“Oh! I feel like screaming!”

She leaped up into the air
And shouted with joy
And told everyone she knew
That her son Jerome loved to read
And they all replied, “Can it possibly be true?”

Before I end my tale,
Let me make one thing very clear,
I absolutely LOVE to read,
I love books, do you hear?

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Cortney.Lynn said...
Feb. 17, 2012 at 7:41 pm
This is soo cute! I like it! I wish i could write more things that are like this! check out my stuff sometime if you want hehe(:
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