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wittness

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i am a witness an eye of debris no one can tell cause there's more than one to witness life is pleasing but not done a young grissal to witness the world a bone of wisdom from him up above iv witnessed my family my friends to a day/night that never ends a day to be in court to know what i saw to know i was there and state what i saw i may have stumbled and fall but it was there in the peck of an hair walking through the aisle of the building while everyone stares i have witnessed or was witnessed that year before my next witness is ever more but a witness for sure.





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SmileMoment said...
Mar. 13, 2011 at 6:08 pm
I believe what you are trying to convey is interesting but to be completely honest this piece is very hard to read for it is lacking any puncuation or capitols. I would suggest going through your piece and change some phrases, add punctuation, and so on. This piece needs major editing.
 
jaselisa replied...
Mar. 23, 2011 at 5:14 pm
ok everyone has their own way of writting and thats mine so please dont tell me i already figured it out keep you personal opinion to yourself i dont need stuck up peolpe like you telling me wat my work needs so dont comment no more
 
ShadowSun replied...
Mar. 23, 2011 at 8:29 pm
I actually agree, I personnaly think the piece is really good, but for it to be appreciated by others it needs thing like puncuation and a spelling check. It was hard to read to be honest. Out of that it was great.
 
jaselisa replied...
Mar. 26, 2011 at 10:59 am
thank you both i will take your advice
 
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