It’s exactly what I despise
Yet it’s so much a part of me
Ingrained within my mind
From it I cannot flee
I don’t want to be like this
For what will it be like
When I finally have a son
Will that son do right?
When he looks at me
Will he be able to smile?
When daddy picks him up
Will he laugh for a little while?
I want to change this attitude
But what can I really do
Everyone else can show some happiness
But you won’t get me until you’re in my shoes
And through all of that I justify
Why I’m always so down
Why I always feel dejected
Why sometimes I want to drown
In a sea of despair
But deep inside I know
That the goal is to transform myself
A better person is the way I want to go