the pressure will build
until im unaware of my actions
my awareness is slowly killed
my mood fleetingly darkens
why?why am i like this?

i need to release the pain of the day
there is no other way
to me i need to inflict upon myself what i derserve
or else the feelings will just preserve
if i didnt deserve this then why am i so drawn to it?
yes i will admit
that those slits
do not look pleasant
why ?why do i see this as the only option to relase my pain?

the truth is it makes me feel like the job is done the pain has been admitted to me
this addiction can never altar
why? why cant i just cope with emotions like normal people?


as my skin is left sore and marked upon
these feelings will never be foregone
some think its weird , some say its attentional
but in my mind its life to me
why? why cant people see its what my mind sets upon to go through the abuse i derserve

maybe god did not intend on this but there is one thing i am sure of
thousands of teens seek this as the way
to make the feelings go away
its useless it leaves scars but why cant i stop??