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Everyones a Critic

By , Jacksonville, FL
I once was wandering in the dessert
When I came upon an elder,
He handed me his umbrella
And said I’d need it for the weather.

To him I paid no attention
For in his mind things were not sound,
It was when I gave it back and went my way
That the rain came pouring down.



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Jay-WolfThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 27, 2013 at 1:44 pm:
wow my other comment got messed up on the spacing  
 
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Jay-WolfThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 27, 2013 at 1:40 pm:
I't good i don't know if you relized it, but this is an exelant metaphore for how we as teens react to advise from our elders, ending always the same          (oh and no one cares about the small grammer mistakes we all do it)
 
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fiNd_THe_fLaMEThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 25, 2012 at 8:12 pm:

i love the poem! it simple yet means something not all people tend to realize!

ps. please read  rate and comment on my work if you get the chance cus i would really appreciate it!

 
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Karamel This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 5, 2010 at 3:12 pm:
I agree with you about the ending! The title was clever, too. You must've known that people would criticize you for pointing out that you spelled desert wrong and that the title word 'everyone's' is supposed to have an apostrophe between the e and s at the end... ;)
 
BoosflashThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Nov. 6, 2010 at 5:04 pm :
actually, i dont know the spelling difference between desert and dessert. and i didnt really know about that other thing either....(ironic.)who knew? i named it this because of the whole idea of being in the desert and it starts raining out of nowhere.merci for the comment. i love you captain.
 
Karamel This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Nov. 16, 2010 at 9:10 pm :
Hey, no problem. The way I always remembered the correct spelling of 'dessert' was because there are two 's's in it and you usually don't have one Scoop of ice cream, you have two Scoops of ice cream for dessert. Does that make sense? Probably not - I'm not very good at explaining things. But anyway, would you check out my work, too, please? Thank you! :D
 
HasntWrittenInAgesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 8, 2011 at 5:16 pm :
it makes perfect sense, its just that they only give you one scoop at mcdonalds so i guess I'll have to find me another way to relate. All I got is a dollar.
 
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BoosflashThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 14, 2010 at 8:37 am:
(Author) I dont know if its not obvious already but I'm the author of this poem. If anyone reads this can you please check out my other work? i would really love the feedback. thanks!
 
FlyWithMe_899 replied...
Jun. 26, 2010 at 10:29 pm :
oh i rem u. my name may be diff so u mite not rem me. but i gotta say, this limerick is SOOOO flippin awesome!!!! its totally creative!!!!!! u definitely definitely hav a kool intelligent mind. -to hav come up with this. i loove it
 
BoosflashThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 27, 2010 at 12:48 pm :
i that appreciate captain. what was your name other?
 
i.ll_be_fine_899 replied...
Jun. 28, 2010 at 12:35 pm :
umm i actually dont rem wat it was or wat it couldve been. lol but i wrote the poem called 'im moving on' if u remember- cuz i rem u commented on that one
 
BoosflashThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 28, 2010 at 1:37 pm :
i remeber you saying you were a hopeless romatinc.....
 
i.ll_be_fine_899 replied...
Jun. 28, 2010 at 2:05 pm :
oh haha. yeah....but almost every girl kinda is, so i dont feel that dorky bout it:P
 
BoosflashThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 28, 2010 at 9:06 pm :
well ofcoursly, its just standoutable.
 
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teddyd said...
Apr. 21, 2010 at 1:14 pm:
is ironically a word cuz that is what this is and its really good 2  :-)
 
BoosflashThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 21, 2010 at 6:23 pm :
yeah but you mean ironic. the poem is ironically written but the poem is not ironically. that's like saying you are happily and not happy. I wanted to write a poem that was really ironic-so thanx.
 
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Meghan M. said...
Apr. 14, 2010 at 11:50 am:
haha the ending was really ironic, i liked it.
 
BoosflashThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 14, 2010 at 8:13 pm :
thank you, I try my best.
 
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FlyLikeAnEagle94 said...
Jan. 15, 2010 at 9:27 am:
Ireally like this.
 
BoosflashThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 15, 2010 at 1:22 pm :
i really like your comment.
 
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