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Haikus for the Trash Stealers

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The devil is real
His minions take form as thieves
Raiding my garbage

What is a raccoon?
Nature's reject trash bandit;
Black eyes masking rage.

I would go outside
To destroy it with my broom
Cursed fate, more arrive

I burn my trash. Why?
So the raccoons can't mate there.
Because f*** raccoons.

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