Report Abuse Home > Poetry > Haiku > Cate, Cate, By haley101, Windsor, CT More by this author and intimate hour you tell me everything « Previous article More by this author Next article » Join the Discussion This article has 2 comments. Post your own! Report abuse EmmaClaire0823 said... Jan. 8 at 10:04 am: I think my biggest critic for this poem is the word "and." It might just be my style, but stating the word "and" three times is overkill for me. You could take out just one of the "and"'s or you could take out both. Just play with it and see what you think. Also, for the phrase "you tell me everything" you can be more figurative. "You pour out your soul" is kinda what I am thinking of, but again it is your writting. I like how short this is, ... (more ») haley101 replied... Jan. 8 at 8:55 pm : thank you. haikus are something I've started to work on, and my poems before this were a lot lengthier. the longest i posted was Saphhire's Lexis Mentor which is about four pages. real long. and you're right about the ands too! while i was reading that, i was like, she's so right. i could omitt them completely, or have just one. thanks for the suggestion!