I'll be there

February 6, 2013
By TanviKusum DIAMOND, Gurgaon, Other
TanviKusum DIAMOND, Gurgaon, Other
89 articles 4 photos 201 comments

Favorite Quote:
All men who have achieved great things have been great dreamers.
Orison Swett Marden

"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say." - Anais Nin

we speak in hushed voices so as to not wake our memories


I'll be there watching you
As you puff up like smoke
I'll be there searching for you
When you lose yourself.



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This article has 6 comments.


on Mar. 13 2014 at 12:46 pm
KarmaBites GOLD, Columbia Heights, Minnesota
11 articles 0 photos 135 comments
Less is truly more! The gentle simplicity of this poem is striking. Great work!

on Jan. 21 2014 at 10:58 am
dianepoon PLATINUM, Hong Kong, Other
27 articles 0 photos 23 comments
This is very touching and I love it, I love how simple it is

on May. 16 2013 at 12:00 pm
TanviKusum DIAMOND, Gurgaon, Other
89 articles 4 photos 201 comments

Favorite Quote:
All men who have achieved great things have been great dreamers.
Orison Swett Marden

"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say." - Anais Nin

we speak in hushed voices so as to not wake our memories

Thanks gwenndy! Yeah, I'll have to keep thud technicalities in mind next time! Appreciate your comment :)

Gwenndy SILVER said...
on Feb. 19 2013 at 2:52 pm
Gwenndy SILVER, Minster, Ohio
8 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
Cats are Magic. The more you pet them, the longer you both shall live.

This is beautiful. It says a lot, but in only a few words. But haikus are 5, 7, 5. It consists of three lines. 5 syllables in the first line, 7 in the second, and 5 in the third. It takes practice and lots of counting. You'll get there soon. Good luck!

on Feb. 17 2013 at 4:13 am
TanviKusum DIAMOND, Gurgaon, Other
89 articles 4 photos 201 comments

Favorite Quote:
All men who have achieved great things have been great dreamers.
Orison Swett Marden

"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say." - Anais Nin

we speak in hushed voices so as to not wake our memories

Hey, thanks for the advice. I appreciate it very much. Actually I haven't done haiku specifically in school but I did try to know about it from the Internet. The seven syllable thing is very confusing. shall research more! :D thanks again

on Feb. 16 2013 at 10:28 am
KnitsandPurls GOLD, Mahtomedi, Minnesota
13 articles 0 photos 83 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I cannot live without books"
--Thomas Jefferson

First of all congratulations on your Editor's Choice! That's awesome! Also, I love the simple repitittion. In only four lines, you seem to have said much more. That is the beauty of poetry, and you have mastered it. I have a piece of advice, but it is more technical than anything else. This poem does not follow the syllable sequence necessary for it to be a haiku, so I would have posted it in the free verse section. Overall, I enjoyed this. Excellant, strong work! P.S. I have a haiku posted entitled "Fluent in Dance". If you wanted to check it out, I would appreciate it. No pressure, though. :)


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