Indian summer

February 5, 2013
Indian summer
my last memmory is him
and distant thunder

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KnitsandPurls said...
Feb. 17, 2013 at 1:09 pm
This is a beautiful, strong example of a haiku. The syllable structure is exactly right, which you don't see in a lot of the haikus on this site. The personification is simple yet powerful. Overall, this is a wonderful piece.   I do have a piece of advice, but it is a very small and nit-picky thing. I would add a period to the end of the last line. This would ground the poem more, if you know what I mean. It would also give the poem a definite ending.    P.S. I have a ... (more »)
Einahpets replied...
Mar. 4, 2013 at 3:31 pm
Thanks, I'll check it out.
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