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A Shawdow's Yearning

As the dawn comes up
The ocean tickles my feet,
Bringing a small smile,

I watch and yearn so,
as the sunlight reaches me,
I'm fading, crying,

It's so beautiful,
I can't tear my eyes away,
I am a shawdow,

Fading from the sun,
My yearing is my death wish,
I silently leave.



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This article has 6 comments. Post your own!

ChairmanMeow said...
Jun. 15, 2013 at 12:35 pm:
Thank you :D
 
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HazelGrace said...
Jun. 14, 2013 at 11:26 pm:
Hmm. I like this a lot. But, I am a little confused by the title because it implies that the shadow is yearning for something, but it is not exactly clear what that is in the poem. And I am confused on the crying and the death- why is the shadow sad? I think overall you have a good sense of rythm and what sounds good in writing, I would just suggest writing more purposefully about one thing, But also make sure that it is true and real. Nice poem
 
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Zach_M said...
May 4, 2013 at 3:20 pm:
In a way this gave me chill bumps... I don't even know why but it was beautiful. Great Job
 
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Night_Star said...
May 4, 2013 at 1:50 am:
Beautiful Masterr pieace I can feel the emotion !!!!! 1000000000% Loved it ! Loved it ! LOVED IT!!!
 
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WickedWriterThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 5, 2012 at 7:17 pm:
Well done, very straight and to the point, but i enjoyed it! keep writing!
 
BlindedTears replied...
Dec. 7, 2012 at 10:40 pm :
aww shucks thanks
 
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