Fluent in Dance

, Mahtomedi, MN

Dance is a language
I am learning to speak in
Syllables and steps

And leaps and letters.
The meaning of my motion
Abundantly clear

When I am fluent,
I will step on stage twirling…
Then pour out my soul.

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SaphiraBrightscales said...
Feb. 17 at 8:44 am:

I don't believe you! Maybe what you to say was, the first one you "posted", huh? Cause it's is so beautiful I can't believe it's your first...haha okay enough with my non-believing drama... Firstly the thing I love most is your choice of words and the alliteration. I just love alliteration.... Hey and the way you show how it is a language that's beautiful too... Oh the whole AMAZING job. Do keep posting. I'll be watching out... P.S. My first Haiku is one I pos... (more »)

SaphiraBrightscales replied...
Feb. 17 at 8:46 am :

All of em as in all forms of poetry.. :D

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Iloveme said...
Feb. 17 at 4:15 am:

You seem to have mastered the art of haikus! And this is beautiful because you wrote about somehow you like doing! Beautiful description :D I feel like learning to dance

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little-bird-girl said...
Feb. 16 at 5:02 pm:

oh my this is lovely!! I agree with everyone else who said that the beginning contrast about learning the language even though dancing is a voiceless communication. Your word choices are perfect, and I love the flow of your work, especially in the middle stanza. Stunning : )

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EPluribusUnum said...
Dec. 10, 2012 at 3:24 pm:

I loved this! Sometimes haikus can get a little choppy as writers try to cram words into syllables into lines, but I didn't even realize what this was until I read the author's comments. This poem may be a haiku, but it stands entirely on it's own and I congradulate you for that. I wish I could give you some advice to improve this, but I'm afraid I'm at a loss.

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jetta.bug said...
Nov. 30, 2012 at 6:22 pm:

I'm a dancer, too. I love this. I love how at the beginning you say it's a language and then say "letters" and "syllables". It's great. However, at first I though that you meant syllables in dancing... I would change it to sentences or something if I were you. Just some advice (:

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KnitsandPurls said...
Nov. 3, 2012 at 10:32 am:

Do you think you could post a quick comment? I would love to improve my work.

kirstiecookie replied...
Dec. 9, 2012 at 1:23 pm :

Beautiful! I think the first line metaphor is incredibly good way to start it off. Then you explained it wonderfully! All your syllables were right, but I do think instead of the word 'steps' in the first stanza, you should switch it to 'tones'. I believe this would further back up your metaphor. Also, 'tones' could relate to language or dancing, whereas 'steps' just reminds me of dancing. I see what you were going for, but I think this could improve the overall i... (more »)